Orgy Getting Their Panties All In A Bunch

Remember Orgy? Best known for their cover of New Order’s “Blue Monday?” Guess what — they’re still a band. No shit. And I know people dig them, but I — for one — wouldn’t bat an eye if these dudes were pelted to death with eggs and rocks, and then toilet papered. In fact, I […]

Exhumed Name New LP All Guts, No Glory

Gore metal maniacs Exhumed are back in a recording studio. Rejoice! The dudes are working on their first full-length studio offering since 2003’s Anatomy is Destiny, and I am fucking psyched. The new one will be called All Guts, No Glory and will be in stores this spring. Founder Matt Harvey says in a statement: […]

Fuck You Sully Erna! Backpeddlin’ Asshole!

Listen, dude. We know you’re white trash. We know you call people “gay” and “fags” and shit. It’s fine; ignorant, but fun. It’s you dude, and you can’t help it. We accept that you’re a douche bag. But commit. Fucking commit to it. Embrace it. Realize who you and be true to yourself. White trash […]

You’ve Got Questions? Well Then…Ask A Bombshell

Today, we launched a brand new column called “Deadspeak,” written by Gun Shy Assassin’s newest contributor, The Black Dahlia Murder’s Trevor Strnad. Trevor will be writing future installments soon, but he’s just one of several new writers you’ll be ready this coming month on Gun Shy Assassin. I wish I could promote these dudes and […]

UpRoar Tour Lineup Depicted In Political Flier As Criminals

This is fucking bizarre. I guess Jim Daley went to the RockStar Energy UpRoar Tour — or saw an advertisement in his local paper for it when the tour rolled through a nearby state (because that shit did not stop in Kentucky…I checked) — and thought, “Gee…those oafish scallywags looks like ruffians…straight hooligans. The kind […]

Dream Theater’s James LaBrie Cancels Entire Tour

Work visas — or the lack thereof — has once again thrown a fucking M80 inside the colon of another tour: Dream Theater frontman James LaBrie’s upcoming solo tour has exploded like the stomach of a seagull that’s been fed bread laced with Alka Seltzer tablets. The trek was set to kick off on November […]

Devin Towsend: The Gun Shy Interview

It’s been a spell since we’ve seen the Devin Townsend of yore — the wide-eyed musical genius with the unapologetic skullet. No, these days Devin’s gone totally Kojak, and ever since the release of his last record, the pop metal masterpiece that was Addicted, we’ve seen him only rocking the cue ball curl. And no […]

Trevor Strnad’s Deadspeak: Pepperoni Pentagram

Trevor Strnad's Deadspeak

Gun Shy Assassin is proud to announce that Black Dahlia Murder frontman Trevor Strnad has joined the team as a regular columnist. His words will appear here whenever the mood strikes him, which it did this week with this ode to the backbone of the multi-billion dollar pizza industry; here is the resultant first installment […]

Am I The Only Person Who Doesn’t Get Tesseract?

I went to see The Devin Townsend Project last night at New York’s Gramercy Theater, and, as usual, Devin was fucking brilliant. The thing about Devin is, he makes you laugh as you’re rocking out with comments like “I may be a nerd, but I’m no pussy.” The opening act was TesseracT, a progessive, experimental […]

Glenn Danzig Not Interested In Talking About Cat Litter

A few weeks back, we brought you a slightly-amusing picture of Glenn Danzig, getting groceries. He was carrying a box of Tidy Cat, leading many to speculate as to how many cats Danzig owns and if so, what their names are. I say he has at least one feline named Lucifuge. Now, Glenn’s gone and […]