Welcome to Gunshy Assassin, another needless heavy metal blog founded and helmed by former MTV News writer, erstwhile Noisecreep newshound, and Kate Upton fan Chris Harris. Now, at Gunshy, the goal is to bring you up-to-the-minute metal news as well as informative interviews and guest columns from metal musicians, industry folks, and of course, people I consider to be nothing if not gut-busting. Basically, if it’s “metal,” it’s game for discussion here. But keep in mind that a lot of things can be considered “metal.” Obama may sign a bill into law, and that very decision may be the definition of what being metal is…so we’ll talk about it, justifying the move in every case, of course.
Please bookmark us, because we want you to make GunshyAssassin.com part of your daily Internet routine. Hang with us…we will make it worth your while. Like a fat chick at the end of a long, ill-fated night.
Before I write even another word, let me take this moment to thank my good friend (and college roommate) Nick Lakiotes. You may recognize his name from the inside sleeves of several records…most notably, those of Clutch. Nick’s art is phenomenal, and I thank him for his help with the site. I also need to thank my dear friend (and Overdrive compadre) Rich Sancho. He’s basically the reason this site is live, and he is the man. Rich and I worked together at MTV News and he’s cooler than ice. That’s what metal is all about. It’s a close scene comprised (mostly) of people who come through for their friends. Thanks, dudes.
So why launch my own site, you ask? Well, after helping to make AOL’s Noisecreep what it is today, I parted ways with the corporate metal site. Not my decision, but one made for me on the heels of what was perhaps the most tumultuous month of my entire life. Needless to say, losing my gig at Noisecreep inspired me to action, and GunshyAssassin.com was born…well, it was more like a week later, over a sloppy hamburger with the good Axl Rosenberg, from Metalsucks.
Now, let’s just get this outta the way right off the bat: We’re not here to make fucking friends. If anything, we welcome enemies. We are here to bring you the latest heavy metal and hard rock news, tour dates, and insightful, thought-provoking interviews with the genre’s leaders, and yes, everything that appears on this site will, in some way, shape, or form, express an opinion on the matter. Honesty and transparency doesn’t usually win you friends, but we’ve got tons of friends, so it’s cool. If, for example, we think someone or something sucks, we’ll explain why, and nothing will be held back. As lifelong fans of Howard Stern, we’d have it no other way.
If you want truth, this is the place for it. If you want humor too, look no further than GunshyAssassin.com.
Since this is a new site, sprinkled in with the metal news will be some T&A. Yes, occasionally, this site may have some NSFW-type content. If topless pics of Cristina Scabbia turn up on Egotastic, we will post them. Hell, if nudes leak of the girlfriend of the keyboardist from Sonata Arctica, we’ll post ‘em…because, let’s face it, Revolver has proven one thing in the last ten years, and that’s that chicks and metal are obvious bedfellows. That magazine would have folded two years ago if not for the “Hottest Chicks in Metal” pictorials. I kid, I kid. But seriously…
That’s it in a nutshell. The site is still maturing, so it will change and evolve over time. But know that when you come to GunshyAssassin.com, what has to at least be the third best metal site on the webernets, you will be informed, you will be entertained, and maybe even aroused.
The gloves are off. But don’t take it personally. It’s all for shits and giggles. Now…don’t be a stranger. Or we’ll bone your sister.
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