Battle Of The Band Babes: Jones Vs. Zombie

Posted by Duff McKegles on September 13, 2010 in Battle of the Band Babes

I’m back! Last week, I took a break from the column because it was fucking Labor Day. So sue me! I wanted to enjoy my weekend in Las Vegas and not have to worry about writing some lame column for a lame web site. I had a blast, too. Came back with more money than I went with and even had a nice little visit to the Bunny Ranch for some robotic sex. But I’m back now, to bring you the next installment in the Battle of the Band Babes competition.

This week, we’ve got one of the most beautiful women you’ll ever meet in person — Rob Zombie’s wife Sheri Moon Zombie — versus a woman who may or may not give birth before the year’s out. Remember all that business that hit the web in March about Killswitch Engage frontman Howard Jones dropping off the tour because of his possible involvement with a porn star? That rumor went away fast, didn’t it?

Well, I have no insider info on whether or not this actually happened. Online reports suggested Jones had to take a break from the band’s tour to deal with Allie Foster’s surprise pregnancy. Killswitch has never commented on what that was all about, and they don’t have to. The rumor’s probably true, and I’ve been counting down the months until this broad’s supposed to pop. Unfortunately, her online presence has been virtually destroyed, and there are no personal web sites connected to her anymore. So that will make it tough to know if Howie will be a dad in a matter of months or not.

Interestingly enough, I hear that when Howard dropped off the tour, several well-known metallers contacted the band to see what was up with Howard, and if he’d be coming back. Dudes in bands you love wanted the gig. Just like when Jesse Leach left the band — everyone and their brother was calling up to be their new singer, and Jones got the job. I guess band dudes just want to be in this band. I understand why, but that’s a strange position to put your friends in.

Anyways, so here’s his week’s choice: Sheri, Rob’s lovely misses, or Allie, Howie’s possible baby mama. Which one would you rather? That’s what this is all about: We want to know which band dude has the hottest gal, and we need your help. Vote like you mean it, and tell us who you’d rather knock up. And band dudes — don’t take this to heart. We’re just shallow douche bags who like to judge, but ultimately, this is a testament to you and the level of hottie you’ve been able to achieve. At the end of the day, it’s just a joke. So be cool, bitch — be cool!

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Posted in Battle of the Band Babes | Tagged allie foster, howard jones, jesse leach, killswitch engage, rob zombie, sheri moon zombie | Leave a comment