The Butcher Babies are despicable. Honestly. The fact that they’ve got a record deal and so many other bands with actual talent don’t is felonious. And the reason they have a deal with Century Media? The four, sweat-drenched mounds of succulent flesh on the the female singers’ torsos. Tits are the reason why this band Read More
We’ve never actually been given a chance to forget the fact that Disturbed are on hiatus, because David Draiman basically reassures fans twice a month that his on-a-break shit-rock outfit will come back. Oh, and Dave’s still using CAPS lock, which I usually correct when I report on his online commentary. But ain’t nobody got Read More
Get ready, United Kingdom and Europe! Avenged Sevenfold is coming to tour your majestic lands. Who with? You’ll never guess. Five Finger Death Punch and Device! My fucking word, is that the mother of all shitfests. I feel bad for Europe. This is a whole lot of suck for you to have to endure for Read More
I’ve never attended the Golden Gods Awards before, mostly because they’re held in Los Angeles and, well, that’d require flying. Flying requires cash, and I truly don’t have any money to spare. Even when someone comes up to me at the bus station, asking for money so they can get back home, I tell them: Read More
As if anyone gives a fuck. This band has no redeeming social value. Oceano are so bad, it’s laughable. They’re a joke band without trying. They were supposed to be breaking up, but now Oceano have posted some studio update for their next album. It’s going to be called Incisions and it will blow. In Read More
If given the option? Flight. I am not even remotely interested in Disturbed or any of its feeble offshoots. Why, then, do I cover Device and now, this new band called Fight or Flight? Because some of you secretly love Disturbed, and want this information. In fact, you need the information. Dan Donegan, Disturbed’s guitarist, Read More
Yes, folks. The new Five Finger Death Punch is in the can. It should go into a garbage can that’s then doused with gasoline and set ablaze, sparing the world from more mediocre douche metal. But alas, it’ll end up being released, and a bunch of dudes who rock Affliction and Tapout shirts will inevitably Read More
By now, you know that David Draiman produced the forthcoming Trivium record. If you didn’t know that, you obviously need to read this site more regularly. The Florida metal act recently completed tracking their sixth album, which is being mixed by Colin Richardson, who quit working on the new Carcass release to work with Trivium. Read More
And holy fuck, is it whacker than that time your mom busted in on your getting head from your high school girlfriend, only to high five you! You couldn’t get me to attend this fucking thing if you told me that somewhere in the audience, I’d find Kate Upton’s slutty, feeble-minded twin sister and that Read More
Limp Bizkit have not changed one fucking bit over the years. They’re still obnoxious, unnecessarily and unjustifiably cocky, pervy, and lame. Or maybe it’s just Fred Durst who hasn’t changed at all. What an asshole. I think in the song, he says he drinks jizz. That’s ambitious. Head to the end of this post for Read More