Archive for August, 2010

Aug 15

Guns N’ Roses Cancel All Tour Dates — Maybe

Posted by Chris Harris on August 15, 2010 in Huh?, News, Poop, Tour Dates

Either Axl Rose’s Twitter was hacked or Guns N’ Roses has cancelled all of their upcoming tour dates. This, according to a post on Axl’s Twitter Sunday evening. But there is speculation the post is bogus. Usually, when Axl Tweets, he does so from his iPhone. This latest post came from “mobile web.” Guns N’ Read More

Aug 13

California Wildebeest: What’s The Deal With 2010’s Wicked Wisdom?

Posted by Chris Harris on August 13, 2010 in Huh?, News, Poop

In 2005, when the Ozzfest lineup was announced, there was a band among the list of well-known metallers that stood out, if only because no one had heard of and them before, and they were now, somehow, going to be playing one of metal’s biggest stages. That band was Wicked Wisdom, and 2005 was the Read More

Aug 12

Man Convicted For Offering Bogus Morgan Harrington Tip

Posted by Chris Harris on August 12, 2010 in News, Poop, Shamelessness

A Northern Virginia man has been convicted on a charge of obstructing justice for giving a false tip to detectives investigating the disappearance and murder of 20-year-old Metallica fan Morgan Harrington. Morgan vanished from a Metallica concert back in late October and her body was discovered in December in an overgrown field just south of Read More

Aug 12

Ozzfest 2010 Set Times Revealed

Posted by Chris Harris on August 12, 2010 in Chicks, News, Pervoscope, Poop, Shamelessness, Tour Dates

You know, I nearly forgot that there was going to be an Ozzfest this summer, because…well, let’s be fucking honest. It’s playing six dates and the lineup leaves a lot to be desired. Beyond Saviours, Goatwhore, Katakylsm, and Skeletonwitch, I don’t see much of a reason to attend. Ozzfest is returning in its weakened state Read More

Aug 12

Bullet For My Valentine Are Rubbish

Posted by Chris Harris on August 12, 2010 in Huh?, News, Poop, Shamelessness

I’ve voiced my disdain for Bullet For My Valentine in the past; they’re cocky turd burglars who have no respect for Axl Rose and blocked my cock a few years back when I ran into a girl I knew from high school. I don’t like their music and I don’t like them. And now, I Read More

Aug 12

Reactivated Sleep Announce Marijuanaut’s Return Tour

Posted by Chris Harris on August 12, 2010 in News, Poop, Tour Dates

Newly revived stoner doom dealers Sleep have rolled out a host of new tour dates to celebrate their return. The tour, dubbed the Marijuanaut’s Return, kicks off September 3 in Monticello, New York, and will likely sell out in every city it hits, because of how hugely influential these guys were on a number of Read More

Aug 11

Testament Guitarist Leaves Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Posted by Chris Harris on August 11, 2010 in Huh?, New Records, News, Poop, Tour Dates

I don’t know about you, but I have never, ever understood the appeal of Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It’s like metal for people who hate metal, which means people like me who love metal think its like the musical equivalent of when a pubic hair curls its way into your dick hole. Its Christmas metal. I’d rather Read More

Aug 11

All Shall Perish’s Van Perishes In Accident

Posted by Chris Harris on August 11, 2010 in News, Poop, Tour Dates

According to numerous Facebook posts, All Shall Perish — who are part of this year’s Summer Slaughter tour — were involved in a “bad van accident” Sunday morning and hence, missed some dates on the trek. They’re the second band we’ve heard of this week to befall such peril; Shadows Fall and Winds of Plague Read More

Aug 11

Some Dick Stole Tony Iommi’s Guitar

Posted by Chris Harris on August 11, 2010 in News, Poop, Shamelessness

What a dick! Who steals from a heavy metal icon like Tony Iommi, the man who has written every riff in metal? A waste of flesh and blood, if you ask me. Although, when I was in college, I did steal microphone from a punk band during a show at Coney Island High. That was Read More

Aug 11

Metal Hammer Compiling Black Sabbath Tribute

Posted by Chris Harris on August 11, 2010 in New Records, News, Poop

In this day and age, magazines have to pull out all the stops to keep from folding. More and more people are using iPads and their laptops to get information and read up on their favorite metal bands and rising paper costs aren’t helping matters much. So you can’t blame Metal Hammer for packaging awesome Read More