Unholy Grave Drummer Dead

Unholy God

Here’s some shitty news to end your day with. The drummer for Japanese grindcore band Unholy Grave has died. His name was Hironori Suzuki, but fans and the band knew him as Hee-Chung. Suzuki was only 33 years old. Says the band: “We are deeply sorry to hear about the death of our brother. We […]

U.K. Sonisphere A No-Go For 2015


Just as it was cancelled in 2013, so too has the 2015 installment of Sonisphere Festival been nixed. The usually-annual fest held in Knebworth, U.K., isn’t happening, according to a statement from the Sonisphere organizers. Says the statement: “Team Sonisphere reluctantly confirm that Sonisphere will not take place in the UK in 2015. We’ve been […]

Five Finger Death Punch Plotting LP For Late 2015

Fine Fecal Bagel Brunch

Great. Just when I thought this year couldn’t get any worse comes word of a new album from those complete and utter fucking douche nozzles in Five Finger Death Punch. And yes, this year has sucked for me thus far. I’ve already been to the emergency room. The hot water heater in my building took […]

Ensign Bassist Needs Help

Nate Gluck

This sucks the inside of a condom clean. Nate Gluck, the bassist for Ensign, is ill. He was recently diagnosed with stomach and esophagus cancer. Gluck and his wife are also facing financial difficulties, so they’ve launched a crowd-funding campaign which has already raised enough money to help them keep their home. Contribute what you […]

Saxon Drummer Rushed To Hospital


Well, isn’t this just a major bummer. British heavy metal masters Saxon have been forced to postpone the remaining dates on their U.K. tour. Last night, drummer Nigel Glockler was rushed to a hospital for treatment of an unspecified health issue. Says Saxon singer Biff Byford: “Devastating news that our friend and drummer Nigel has […]

Delain Bassist Ruptures Testicle


Get ready to wince, fellas. A lot. The bassist for Dutch symphonic metal band Delain, Otto Schimmelpenninck, has recounted how one of his testicles exploded after being he was shot in the baby-maker by a “streamer cannon” last week during a gig in Birmingham. Fuck. He might end up losing the ball altogether. Here’s what […]

Borknagar Frontman Hospitalized With Head Trauma


You know, a very ugly human being twice wished death on me this week. This person — a recent ex-girlfriend — was fucking serious, too. First, she texted me: “I hope you die in a fire.” The second time was yesterday, when she basically instructed me to have an aneurysm whilst driving down the highway […]

Malice Guitarist’s Doctors Find Tumor

Mick Zane

This is awfully sad news to have to report. Not that I am a huge Malice fan, but you never wanna hear about someone suffering from an illness. Mick Zane, the lead guitarist for Malice, will undergo brain surgery on Monday after he was diagnosed with a small brain tumor. Zane is currently in an […]

Victory Records Signs Another Lame Band

Kissing Candice

At least the label is consistent. Man, this one almost makes me embarrassed I hail from the same salty soil. Victory Records has inked a deal with Long Island electro-metal outfit Kissing Candice. The band’s members wear masks, which is nothing if not a gimmick. Bands that rely on gimmicks, including Slipknot, are shite. The […]

Robert Plant Squashed Led Zeppelin Reunion

Robert Plant

Robert Plant just doesn’t care about Led Zeppelin anymore. And money clearly isn’t a motivator for him. United Kingdom-based tabloid The Mirror published a story over the weekend claiming Plant put the kibosh on a nearly $800 million dollar deal for a Led Zeppelin tour proposed by British mogul Richard Branson. According to the report, […]