Battle of the Band Babes: Nergal Vs. Root
Posted by Duff McKegles on August 9, 2010 in Battle of the Band Babes, ChicksWhat’s up, everybody? Welcome to the second, juicy installment in the Battle of the Band Babes. If you didn’t vote the first time around, get crackin’ because we need your help. The purpose of the Battle of the Band Babes is to figure out which metal madman has — hand’s down — the hottest chick at his side. It will be a process for sure, but a fun one.
Again, let me restate this for those of you who may find this objectionable — namely, you band dudes. Consider this flattery. Your fans wish they could score babes like you have, and ultimately, you all have hot girlfriends and wives. That’s not up for debate. What is up for debate is who has the ultimate prize — who has scored above all others with a babe of epic beauty. Because that’s what being in a band is all about, at the end of the day: Chicks. Whether musicians will admit it or not, it is. Trust me.
This idea came to me back during the 1980s. That was when metal was fun. And all of those dudes paraded around with Playboy bunnies and lingerie models. Hell, David Coverdale gave us all a stiff one when he put his bra-busting receptacle, Tawny Kitaen, in the video for Whitesnake’s track “Is This Love.” I’ve always said this will be my wedding song if I ever find a chick who can accommodate my humungoid pecker.
Then, the idea breathed new life about a year ago, when I was backstage at a show and saw what I believe to be one of the hottest chicks I’ve ever seen with her dude, a musician in a well-known band. Who has the hottest gal? We will soon find out.
Over the next couple of months, we will bring you two babes from two of your favorite metal musicians each week, and ask you to vote on which babe you’d rather bring home to the folks. And again, band dudes — don’t take offense. You’re all gods. We praise you and your sexual chocolate. So, on to this week’s match-up.
First up, we have Lacuna Coil’s Cristina Scabbia. She dates Jim Root from Slipknot and is considered to be one of the hottest chicks in metal by many. I think she’s a babe and the couple of times I’ve met her, she couldn’t have been a bigger sweetheart. I fell in love with her in ten minutes, and then Jim came over to give her some sugar, and my heart shattered. She faces off against Doda, the pop singer girlfriend of Behemoth’s Nergal. She’s blonde, stacked, and at this very moment, by her man’s side as he undergoes treatment for an undisclosed illness. No, it’s not too soon. Nergal is going to be OK, people. It’s not like he’s on his death bed. He just had to cancel some shows. Fuck, it happens. Health first. But I am telling you — have a loyal hottie like Doda by your side during a health crisis absolutely speeds up the recovery process.
So, guys — based solely on who you would want to come home to and take showers with on lazy Sundays, tell us: Who has the hotter chick, Jim or Nergal? And look for our next installment, coming soon. We’ll narrow down our choices until we get to the final two, at which point we — with your help — will decide who has the hottest girlfriend or wife in metal. If you have any suggestions for us, send them in because I’m fucking sure we forgot some lusty lasses.