Around 2001, I saw a concert in which Zyklon was opening for Morbid Angel and Deicide…not really surprised that Thor Anders Myhren (a.k.a. Destructhor) has been chosen as the second guitarist. Zyklon was a good band with a lot of excellent Morbid Angel-style riffage — not to mention his penchant for wearing do-rags, which pretty much fits right into the scheme of things, visually, for Morbid Angel 2011.
Now, up front, we’ve got a do rag guy (you’ve got long hair, man — if you don’t take it down to headbang while you play guitar in Morbid Angel, then when exactly is it for?), Trey with his mystical parachute pants, and of course, Mr. David Vincent. In the back, holding down the drum throne during Pete Sandoval’s (hopefully) temporary absence, we’ve got master of the streaked hair and tanning bed arts, the ravishing Tim Yeung.
A couple of years back, before the talk of this new Morbid Angel record ever began, I happened upon ol’ Vincent at NAMM while Black Dahlia were out in California scoping for a new drummer. Even with a few cocktails in me, I still didn’t have the cojones to talk to him. I wanted to go up to him and tell him how much I like his band, but what do you really say to one of the most legendary death metal musicians of all time that he hasn’t heard before before: “Ugh, that one song from Blessed Are The Sick…huh, huh, that was cool.”
Yeah right. He was definitely at least eleven feet tall. He was wearing a shiny vinyl pentagram shirt…something straight of out a Hot Topic nightmare; and a black cowboy hat…perhaps we’re still shaking off the fairy dust from rolling with the Genitorturers for a few years — whatever, I don’t mind. He could be fucking spray-painted gold as long as they make more songs like “Nevermore.”
How long have we been listening to that song now? According to Blabbermouth, the first evidence of it surfaced July 4, 2008, in the form of a YouTube video of them playing the song at Gods of Metal festival in Italy…that’s a lot of time to ‘build anticipation.’ Seems more like lunacy to me. Surely I am going to go fucking crazy if they don’t tell me when this shit is coming out. From the date it is announced, it’ll be at least three more months of waiting for advertising purposes as well…UGH! At this point, I figure I’m liable to die if I don’t get to hear it in the next six months. I don’t think the odds are very much in my favor. Goodbye cruel world — think of me. In fact, contact me on a Ouija board and tell me if it was any good.
If I do for some reason make it to the release date, I have 100 sticks of lavender incense and some weed called Mystical Touch set aside for such a grand occasion. Wish me luck. Until one of these two even happens, I’m going to sit here in my robe, staring at the spinning pentagram animated gif on MorbidAngel.com and masturbate