Evan Seinfeld

I speak to metal and rock musicians all the time. I tape every single interview, but don’t end up using it all. Most times, I get stuck with leftover quotes that just end up at the bottom of a Word document, never to be seen. I’d say that, for most stories, I use about 60 percent of what I get from the phoner. The rest is residual and ends up here, in Interview Leftovers.

A week or so ago, I spoke with Biohazard’s Evan Seinfeld about the upcoming Biohazard disc and the debut from his project The Spyderz. He also told me all about his fiancee, porn star Lupe Fuentes, and promised me a fleshlight that still hasn’t arrived.

Towards the end of the interview, Evan started talking about haters — people who either hate his band or the fact that he gets to bone porn chicks all the time.

“You know where you see the haters? Blabbermouth, which I think is the gayest site — and I don’t mean homosexual gay,” Seinfeld told me. “It’s gotta be the lamest, weakest, most pussiest Web site in the entire music genre. Its like a bunch of keyboard ninjas and arm chair quarterbacks who think they know everything about everything.”

Tell us how you really feel Evan? “I can take criticism, but I think of where it’s coming from. All these people, all they do is diss. Really, what’s your talent? What have you done? Of course, it’s nothing. It’s some fucking pimple-faced kid jerking off on his keyboard, who can only feel cool about himself because he’s putting someone down. Go out and meet people.”

But his railing against Blabbermouth did not end there.

“It’s so pathetic,” he starts. “I don’t even look at that site…ever. They pick up every piece of news. It’s like…if you’re really pathetic and have no life, you probably already go on Blabbermouth. But if you’re really pathetic and have no life, and instead of going to the gym to work out, you’d rather say that everybody who works out is a douche, then you should probably go to Blabbermouth because its like a giant ball of negativity. They can worship my life from afar. I think most of the guys on Blabbermouth who talk about me are gay and wanna suck my dick. They’re not at terms with their own homosexuality. They’re on the internet, looking at my bog dick and jerking off and crying inside because they feel it’s not ok to be gay, and really, it is. But they’re not ok with it, so they have to diss everyone else because they’re angry about their own identity. If that’s who you are and how you feel, Blabbermouth is probably the best place to go to spew negativity. It’s what’s wrong with metal — a community of people getting together to talk shit.”