What are you?

You’re not as unique as you think you are. There are many methods to systematically categorize the humdrum monotony you refer to as your life.

Damn, Mark — why so cold?

You’ll be surprised to find out that it’s part of what makes up the breed of human I belong to. The INTJs. We make up 2-percent of the population, and while rare, we are meant to be this way. Ruthless masterminds. The ultimate “man behind the curtain.” Arrogant, isolated scientists.

There are 16 different personality types as first suggested by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. The Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator was a result of Jung’s theories. What you wind up with is a test that helps you and I better understand humanity.

Of course, honesty is required or the test fails.

The main characters of “The Silence of the Lambs” and the TV show “House” are two great examples of classic INTJ behavior. Gregory House is a brilliant doctor who “hates everyone” and Hannibal Lecter is an insanely skilled psychiatrist. And cannibal.

While I’m nowhere near as brilliant (or sadistic) as those two, I definitely identify with some of their personality traits. I remember when “House” came on years ago, my mother told me to watch it because “You’re just like that guy” — while I laughed at his attitude, I was also like…thanks?

What is an INTJ?
1. We are Introverts — most of our energy comes from solitude.
2. We use iNtuition — details tend to bore us, we often get the big picture right away.
3. Thinking — we mainly use logic over emotion and feeling. It’s a fact or it isn’t. Stop crying.
4. Judging — we prefer solutions vs. open endings.

What about you? Do you get energy from people? You might be an extrovert. Are you detail oriented? Are you emotional? I have a hard time around emotional people. It literally drains my mental battery.

Another weakness is the inability to understand social norms. Hanging out, going to bars, big crowds…all of these things are extremely foreign to me, even though I will occasionally make an effort to fit in. I’d much rather watch a lecture on the physiology of the brain. Not because I’m hungry, because I’m fascinated.

If a fan meets me and I’m quiet, it’s not because I don’t like them, it’s because my brain is probably trying to contemplate nanoparticles or some other gigantic mystery of the universe. And while deep down I’m stoked that this is the 5th time you’ve seen us, I’m usually checked out mentally. Don’t take it personal, be stoked — it will result in more cool material.

My stoic face — it’s part of the introvert. We always look pissed or robotic. Unapproachable. Now don’t you feel foolish for thinking I’m always angry?

There are all types of tests you can take online and learn more about yourself. I think it’s a good idea to do so. If we knew more about one another, perhaps it could help break down communication barriers.

No longer would you assume an INTJ is an “asshole” because you are an emotional INFP or ISFP. And perhaps the rationales could take a moment to think about what they say. There are a lot of “feelers” out there that just want a hug.

Sorry to go all hippie on you for a second there…I hope you die so I can examine the remains.

Find out your personality here.