I'd lure her

You know, when I lived in Hartford, I’d go to every Ozzfest and afterwards, hit the strip club with my buddies. There was a nudie bar right around the corner from the arena, so we’d pull up and I’d tell one of the girls we were with a band on the bill. Within minutes, we were covered, and they were asking which of us played drums and who was the singer.

Posing as a rock star is easy, because most people don’t know from whoever you claim you are. Most people are also dumb.

Now comes word that a British man has been convicted of pretending to be Bring Me The Horizon singer Oliver Sykes, and luring an American teen to Britain where he tried to kill her.

According to the Daily Mail, David Russell, 20, of Northampton, “pretended to be a rock star to seduce an American woman he met on Facebook before slitting her throat and repeatedly stabbing her.”

What a fucking nut! Russell has been jailed for life for the kidnap and attempted murder of Maricar Benedicto of California. During sentencing, the judge said Russell was “‘exceptionally dangerous’ and had left his victim with lasting physical and psychological injuries.”

In related news, Sykes has spoken out after being attacked by mormon hardcore kids the other day.

“Just to clear up any rumors — nothing happened [Monday] night apart from a bunch of soft lads stomped on a kid’s head five seconds into our set, so we stopped playing, had a bit of a banter with them telling them to do one, then some fatty gets on stage tries to hit me, in which he completely fails, misses and falls over and then gets sparked out by someone in our touring party,” Sykes writes on his blog. “The ‘crew’ then responded by running around the venue, breaking a very young girl’s jaw and stamping on her, and injuring a few more of our young fans. Not a member in Bring Me The Horizon or any of our touring party got so much as a scratch. Fucking mongs, eh? What can you do?”