I do

I am sure that Harley Flanagan spoke with his lawyer and was given two options: Insanity or self-defense.

Harley went with the latter, and now, in a much-ballyhooed interview with this site, tells his version of what happened a week ago at Webster Hall.

He claims he was invited to a dressing room backstage, and was just attacked by a gang of dudes.

“When I saw that door get pulled shut I was literally fighting for my life,” says Harley. “I was afraid these guys were going to kick me half to death, roll me down the back steps and that no one would see it… and there would be no witnesses and that would be that….and all I could think about was getting home safe to my kids…I wanted to save my life, to protect myself and these guys were trying to do me in.”

Funny how those guys weren’t arrested, but you were. Weird.

“…I was getting the shit beat out of me. It was like an old fashion biker beat down, like BA BABABABABA BA And at that point, everybody started screaming and I saw the door of the dressing room open and I started screaming security, security and I saw somebody pull the door shut to keep security out. And in my mind I thought to myself, ‘Fuck, these dudes, their intention is to fuck me up, they don’t want no one to see it they’re trying to beat the shit out of me’…SO what I did was defend my life…”

He doesn’t stop there. He keeps spinning his yarn.

“…I’m getting the shit beat out of me. …Then at that point that’s when the bouncers managed to get in the room and I ended up getting dragged out into the balcony area, which is where everybody says the mêlée took place but no the mêlée took place in the dressing room behind a locked door where I was getting jumped people by myself.

“One dude says get on your stomach, get on your stomach, put your hands out in front of you and this one guy, big guy steps on my back and he’s standing with both of his feet on my back….and one guy is literally looking at me squeezing my throat choking me and … at this point it was DMS guys and security I don’t know who the fuck was which…one guy looks at me and says motherfucker I’ll fucking kill you…I will kick you in your fucking face until you are dead motherfucker stop moving — and I’m just like Yo, I’m stopping moving at that point. And one guy’s like put your hands out in front of you and I’m like are you a cop and he’s like yeah and I’m like show me your badge and at that point ….the boys in blue hallelujah…the cops came running up the stairs…”

So, wait…you totally skipped the part where you had a knife on you and you stabbed the guy who replaced you on bass. Was he part of the group of guys beating you?

“I was like fine, I’m not moving anymore … please cuff me, I stuck my hands out in front of me.. I’m face down on the floor. At that point I still didn’t know that I had been stabbed, I got 30 stitches in my leg. Thank God it was in my leg …and the cops cuffed me, turned me over and that’s when I saw the wound in my leg…[It] was just grotesque…the blood was bubbling out of it, the fischa was…the tendons was literally hanging out of my leg….that’s why people started saying that’s a compound fracture…it was until I got cleaned up in the ambulance they realized it was more of a stab wound. And that’s when the cops put me on the chair. And they put me in the ambulance.”

What do you guys think?