Am I The Only Person Who Doesn’t Get Tesseract?

TesseracT

I went to see The Devin Townsend Project last night at New York’s Gramercy Theater, and, as usual, Devin was fucking brilliant. The thing about Devin is, he makes you laugh as you’re rocking out with comments like “I may be a nerd, but I’m no pussy.” The opening act was TesseracT, a progessive, experimental British metal band. I guess. I mean, that’s what every one is calling them — all these other metal blogs that have been sucking this band’s collective cock for months now. 


To me, they sound like a heavy version of 30 Seconds to Mars. Am I the only person who doesn’t get this band and why they’re good? I was extremely underwhelmed.

Perhaps TesseracT are sort of like The Hangover. For months, I’ve been hearing about this band and how I need to listen to them, I need to check them out, and when I noticed they were opening for Devin, I figured I’d just wait to see them live. And seriously, I just do not get why they’re so awesome. And I don’t get why The Hangover was funny. It was fucking retarded.

Yes, the music is tight and heavy as sin. Yes, the drummer was phenomenal. But what the fuck is going on with those vocals, man? They don’t fucking match the music at all. And I watched this band play for 30 minutes and it sounded like they were playing the same fucking song, over and over again. And that dude on stage was bouncing around like he was fronting fucking Prodigy, and gesturing to the crowd like fucking Mick Jagger. He was up there, springing around like a flamboyant Street Fighter character.

Someone, please explain to me why this band is good? I think it’s a conspiracy. These blogs want us to like this band for some reason, but I’m not fucking buying it guys. This band needs to get a new singer, and fucking learn some new chords. Then maybe they’ll be good. But as it stands, they suck.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • blgdinger

    it’s like the shitty version of scar symmetry, soilwork, disarmonia mundi, zonaria, and other bands like that with super low tuned guitars. It’s a heavy sound, but boring.

  • http://www.myspace.com/demonic_shredder_88 Huthaifa Al-Rawi

    TesseracT are awesome and amazing !
    they are one of the pioneers of the modern Djent Movement along with Periphery, Chimp Spanner, Stealing Axxion, Nociceptor, Haunted Shores…..

    u can find alot of info abt that at this website http://got-djent.com/

    been following them since 07 and I’m lookin forward to see them at Flint-MI with devin next Sunday.
    get to this genre of music, it’s heavy, brutal, ambient, technical, moody and plain awesome !

  • Matty1138

    I’m really sick of dim-witted knobs and the overuse of the word “djent”. It comes from Meshuggah. It’s the sound of their palm-muted downstroke pick attack. Commonly heard on the None EP Destroy Erase Improve, and Chaosphere. It is a very distinct and exact sound. Most of the bands today who try to ape that sound totally miss the bus. In fact none of the bands in this so called “modern djent movement” even come close to getting a true and proper djent. Except maybe for Periphery. So please stop with this retarded classification that doesn’t make any sense at all.

  • Me

    You’ve just perfectly summarised this band. Bravo sir!