Attila Singer Thinks His Useless Band Is Metal

A metal band

Yeah…and I’m a neurosurgeon who sidelines as a molecular engineer.

If Attila is metal, guess what kids? I am no longer a fan of metal.

The band’s flamboyant frontman, Chris Fronzak, said that Attila’s new album About That Life (in stores now, not that YOU care) is a “metal record.”

I have not heard it, admittedly. But if it sounds anything like their previous efforts, I think I’ll fucking pass, bro.

“If you’re worried about MY life, your life must suck and I feel sorry for you,” says Fronzak, who makes all guys named Chris embarrassed to have to share the same first name.

“Anyways, I wrote the most controversial metal record that exists and it comes out tomorrow, so bring the hate,” he says.

Here’s a track from this alleged metal album. It sounds like Vanilla Ice singing for a Meshuggah cover band.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • PNUT

    Ha! I know these poser wigger hipster emo punks semi personally. Nailed it Chris. Thumbs way the fuck down for these preppy child molesters. They ruin the whole nonexistent metal scene in ga just by dressing like skrillex.

  • ejs13

    haha i dont even like their work but if you have to take time to talk shit on this website you “write” for then you need to get a real job. stop spreading haye and write about the shit YOU like then, you fucking pussy.

  • MadVillian618

    Have a sook, bro.

  • Joseph

    Really?..Dude, they are not even being serious with songs like, “About That Life.” It is a fucking joke, get over it.