Billy Corgan Is A Fucking Douche

Yeah, she's super hot dude

Yeah, that’s right — I said it. The Smashing Pumpkins frontman is a complete and utter douche. And the video that follows is all the proof in the world you need. But I will provide more proof.

I have had a chance to interview this dude, both in person and over the phone. He’s just the type of dude who comes across as thinking his shit don’t stink. He also thinks he’s funnier than he actually is. I remember having to put on my best fake laugh with him at least 15 times. Look — he was a fucking rock star back in the 1990s, and still acts like he’s as relevant and popular as he was back then. But back then, The Smashing Pumpkins didn’t have to release songs for free — people actually paid for their music. Billy Corgan needs to realize that no one wants to hear his new shit. They want to hear Siamese Dream in its entirety, and that’s all.

During a recent gig in Australia, Corgan tested out some of his comedic material (like, “I’m on drugs” — that got so many laughs from those humorless Aussies that Billy used it half-a-dozen times) in a nine-minute rant in which he also brags about how awesome he is and how he has the hottest girlfriend in Australia — some hole he’s blowing his load in now who happens to be in an awful band called The Veronicas.

Billy Corgan even brags about the shape of his bald-ass head and the size of his donger. At one point, he even says out loud, “I’m funny.” If that isn’t the fucking kiss of death…some of the least funny people I know tell me how funny they are. Assholes. Billy, please lay down and close your eyes — there’s no way you could be that pale without being dead. Someone tell Billy he’s dead. Watch the video. Tell me if you laugh at any point during the clip, and I will give you a sperm sample.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.