Bus Driver Bails On The Devil’s Blood

The Devil's Blood

What a shitnozzle! I mean, who does this? A wretched, putrid piece of fried gorilla labia, that’s who!

The Devil’s Blood are on tour as the moment with Watain and Behemoth. Now, they’re on tour with no driver. The dude jumped ship Sunday. And he didn’t leave empty-handed.

“This piece of shit who was supposed to have been our driver on the US tour ran off with our money after the San Antonio Ritual [Sunday] night,” the band writes in statement.

“After being told what to do for the thousandth time and still having no clue how to [drive] a bus, this ‘Ape,’ as he calls himself…ran off into downtown San Antonio and left us stranded in an intersection, [thereby] forcing our Tour Manager to take the wheel. This little rat scurried off so fast that attempts to find, catch, and kill it were immediately unsuccessful.”

That’s fucking amazing.

“We put this info out now so that each and every one of our contacts, friends, fans and even enemies might learn his name, spread it around, and make sure that this sorry excuse for a man never again does business with anyone.

“As for you, David, you little cunt: Rest assured that one day we will meet again. A curse upon your house until the day comes that my blade is on your throat.”

Wow. Lesson to be learned here: Do not fuck with this band. They will put hexes on you and basically threaten to pull a Burzum on you.

At the same time, if you’re considering hiring some dude named “Ape” as your driver for your upcoming tour, don’t.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • JW

    Sounds like the bus driver might have done something a little shady.  However, you sound like an insufferable fanboy douche.  Oh my god, amazing that he issued an empty threat of what he WOULD have done to the bus driver had he caught him, scary!  He put a hex on his house, absolutely terrifying! 

    If Selim Lemouchi is so incredibly intimidating and scary why doesn’t he hunt the guy down and whip his ass right now?  Nothing will come of this, and he’s not scaring anyone, with the exception of frail wavy haired blogger nerds such as yourself.