Colorado Professor Uses Metal To Scare Dogs

Money wasted

That’s my quick summation on this study by genius-in-training Lori Kogan, an associate professor at the Colorado State University.

This woman wasted time and money figuring out that dogs trapped in shelters were less likely to bark and more likely to sleep when classical music was played for them over heavy metal.

Kogan, a member of the College Of Veterinary Medicine And Biomedical Sciences and a licensed psychologist, played different music at a shelter over the course of four months and recorded the responses of the pups.

The investigated genres included classical, heavy metal and a simplistic psychoacoustic classical composition marketed specifically for dog relaxation. Please!

“Kogan’s study suggests that heavy metal induces more nervous shaking in dogs,” says the study. No shit, asshole. Dogs don’t like loud noises. How this woman is a professor, I’ll never know.

“Playing classical music appeared to calm dogs more than other music selections or no music at all,” the study claims.

The study suggests that shelters refrain from playing heavy metal music to dogs because of the detrimental impact it may have on the animals’ stress and anxiety levels.

First of all, who plays heavy metal in a shelter? Are all the shelters in Colorado owned by Michael Vick? This whole exercise in stupidity and ultimately animal torture baffles me.

I am dumbfounded.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.