Emmure Douche’s Lame Clothing Line Restocking

...because Frankie looks like the Swedish chef

So, Emmure frontman Frankie Palmeri is arguably a bigger douche than any single member of Five Finger Death Punch. In fact, Emmure and 5FDP should tour together. I guarantee there’d be at least three rapes each tour stop [UPDATE: I totally forgot they just toured together. Duh! Why did I forget? Clearly, I don’t care enough to remember.]

Anyways, a boy can dream, can’t he? So, Palmeri has this douchey clothing line called Cold Soul, which launched amid controversy some months back. Frankie buckled under the pressure, closed shop, and earlier this month, relaunched with just a hat.

Now, the store’s stocked with a bunch of lame shirts, including the Columbine massacre tee that instructs one to “shoot first, ask questions last.”

One of the new shirts, available here, features the image of Jesus Christ on the cross, and the back reads, “You’re nobody till somebody kills you.” I guess he wants to tick off Christians this time. No shame in that, but even a Satanist would admit that’s low class.

Each shirt costs $33.95 each. If you were to actually spend that kind of money on one of these tees, you’d be an asshat.

In related news, Palmeri went online to express his interest in working with erstwhile Limp Bizkit mixmaster DJ Lethal.

“Artist I want to collaborate with the most? The dude @djlethal . #darkarts + #FRANKIEPALMERI = The real,” he writes on Twitter.

Makes sense. Emmure’s basically Limp Bizkit, just fatter.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • AARONK

    emmure is awful, from the shitty explicitly appropriated riffs, to the pussy emo origins of the lyrics, the clothing line offers a tasteless, and generally bad route for troubled teenagers who don’t have any true positive guidance. If Frankie died, it would be more stylish than his clothing line, and much more humorous and acceptable than a t shirt with a highschool massacre on it and the words “shoot first, ask questions last”. I mean, thats litterally exploiting the youth that its being marketed to, in the same way as cigarettes.Ya hear me Frankie? Kill yourself.

  • YURIG

    I don’t know or listen to Emmure, but all I get off this post and the rest of your blog is that you’re a massive, insecure bitch.