5FDP Drummer Releasing Autobiography; Check Exclusive Excerpts

Posted by Chris Harris on January 29, 2013 in News, Sarcasm

No doubt worthy of a book on his life, Five Finger Death Punch drummer Jeremy Spencer has taken it upon himself to write his autobiography.

It will be called “Deathpunched: Cheers To My Sobriety,” and will be out in early 2014.

Lucky for us, we got our hands on an excerpt from the book, which will surely make the best seller’s list.

Here it is:

I was young boy when realized I could make bang noise when hit things. I like hit drum with sticks. Go bang, bang, bang. Make bang noise good. People go scream. They think bang noise actual music. I laugh as I make way to bank. Tee-hee. Joke on you. I secretly sad man.

Well that wasn’t very interesting. I hope they edit that shit before the final printing.

Here’s a second excerpt, exclusive to GunShyAssassin:

I no know why I no drink. Beer make me mad, yell. Angry like beaver. Make me make punch of five fingers. I stop drinking. Tough, it is, to be on road as such. Every body else drink, snort, shoot. But me? Sober, is be.

Fuck. This guy thinks he can write?

Posted in News, Sarcasm | Tagged autobiography, book, Deathpunched: Cheers To My Sobriety, drunk, five finger death punch, Jeremy Spencer | 1 Comment