Fozzy Frontman Booked For “Dancing With The Stars”

Sequins are super metal, dude

Poor Zakk Wylde. Despite his best efforts, he will most likely not be on the upcoming season of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.” But Chris Jericho — that wrestler dude who also thinks he’s a metal superstar — will be.

That, according to TMZ, who claim to know six of the show’s 11 celebrities that will appear on the show as well as their partners. Chris Jericho — the lead singer of Fozzy, perhaps the most unlistenable tripe I’ve ever come across that claims to be metal — will be dancing with show slut and molested Teletubbie Cheryl Burke.

Who else is on the show? Fuck, man — you actually care? Well, Lil’ Romeo is partnered with the sexual Chelsie Hightower, while life support system for a pair of outrageous cans, Kendra Wilkinson, gets to dance with Louis van Amstel. The still-alive Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovski are partnered up, with Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani and Disney star Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas paired as teams.

The official announcement will be made tonight during “The Bachelor.”

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • Jesse Leach

    So… are you actually good at anything in life? Part-time keyboard warrior isn’t cutting it for you, sorry. Wipe yourself off, you’re pathetic.

  • Jimmy B.

    This guy writes as if he’s some bad ass metal dude lol. Even Jericho is more metal than Chris Harris. This guy is a fuckin joke. Big man talking down upon people who have done something with their lives. What a loser.

    • Anonymous

      People who like Fozzy = buttdarts

      • 8M

        Oh wow, nice one. I bet that really got your pea-sized brain working. Nobody said they like Fozzy anyway, but they’re man enough to give him the respect he deserves, unlike your worthless self.