Fred Durst Promises Two New Studio Offerings In 2012

Fred Durst

Looking back on 2011, Fred Durst can’t be thinking that shit was a banner one. Limp Bizkit released a record no one fucking cared about, and Interscope dropped the band. They booked and then cancelled numerous tours, and Fred just ended up losing more hair and putting on more pounds.

Today, Freddy took to the Webernets to release a statement on Limp Bizkit’s future plans, which include the long-awaited follow-up to their shitbreaking EP The Unquestionable Truth, Part 1.

“LB is joining forces w the unexpected to bring you our best material yet in 2012,” boasts the head Limp dick. “Gold Cobra was for the core and our farewell to the corrupt machine. The Unquestionable Truth pt 2 and Stampede of the Disco Elephants are for the masses in ways which are indescribable through text.”

Lazy son of a bitch. You didn’t even try, did you? I would have loved to have read that description.

“We finally feel like ourselves again with no restraints and boundaries preventing us from being who we truly are as a band. The ride thus far has been nothing less than a true rock and roll journey,” says Fred.

“We are grateful for every moment and bid the most sincere farewell to those we will now leave behind. LB will start releasing new material unethically and affectively as soon as the deals are signed and sealed in January as attorneys start their holiday vacations months before the holidays even begin,” Durst added.

“And btw, our video POOP will finally find its way in its entirety to your eyeballs soon enough.”

Oh gee, I can’t fucking wait.

Man, I figured Limp Bizkit would die with 2011. I figured for sure it was curtains for the Bizkit. But no. Unfortunately, no one buying their record and their longtime label shitcanning them will not deter Limp Bizkit from releasing the best nu metal this side of P.O.D., bitches.

You can’t hold the Bizkit back, it would seem. But you can hold the Bizkit underwater for 20 minutes. Won’t somebody?

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • http://twitter.com/schoofslaurens LΔURENS

    Bitch please.. why do you keep hating on LB? Gold cobra was an exellent record. 

  • http://www.eonemusic.com/ Bill Clinton

    Still hating on Limp Bizkit, I see. Some people just never grow up. Chris Harris must really enjoy being an immature manchild that lives in his mother’s basement.

  • Steve

    1. announcing two records+ DVD= lazy?

    2. a brillinant album that got lots of love from the fans and placed immidiately no.1 in germany’s album charts/sold out european tour= no one cares?

    3. son of a bitch/ drown the band= expressions a neutral and grown up writer would use?

    NO!

    There are still people caring about the band and we give a shit what you think. Practice proper journalism and do your research! this article is trash and i hope sometime you will see that you are offending many more people than just the band.

    An excuse would be pretty desirable. I hope the administrators of this board will take notice of your ignorance and react. If i was your boss, i’d fire your ass.

    • Anonymous

      I am the boss

      • Mamadudude

        Suck ass an die fag brains. Your not good enough to lick Fred’s gooch sweat

      • LBFan

        That sucks for your shitty site then.

        LB isn’t for everyone, but it would seem you believe your opinion is. Go you.

  • Vailzo

    Hey Lauren Schoofs

    You misspelled ‘exellent’. Add a ‘c’ in there.

    Limpbizkit is fucking terrible.

    Happy New Year.

  • Joshwaskew

    New year new site still the same douche bag hey chris , funilly enough thats a song on the new LB record which is pretty fucking good

  • http://twitter.com/BTremblett brandon tremblett

    wow, this guy is an ultimate douchebag, never even heard of chris harris but id already like to hold him underwater for 20 mins.. maybe 30.

  • http://twitter.com/BTremblett brandon tremblett

    never even heard of this stupid prick, but id already like to hold him under water for 20 min.. maybe 30

  • BreatheDirt

    who the fuck is chris-motherfucker-harris? does anybody know that pussy-mouth buttfucker? wouldn`t his mom who sucked him off in his 12? if not, i didn`t really know him. and chrisie, it`s all `bout ur jealousy girlie. so go and anesthetize yourself, if you can`t get a grip!

  • Ryry1017

    Limp bizkit was one of the pioneers of rock during an age that was full of Nsync and Backstreet Boys. Wtf does this douche know about anything. Fred could shit on your wife if he wanted to, but I guess that’s why you hate him.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DJ26HJLHD3I4R4CIDSGAMCNJTU Abrar

    woah..finally no hating comments on LB, but to the author instead. im joining :D fuck u chris LB is a great band

  • Brian Welch

    this reporter doesn’t know SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

  • houssine Rafia

    Get a life ! You should run that track, it is on the  Gold Cobra record ;)