Halestorm Singer Named “Hottest Chick In Hard Rock”

Taylor Momsen

Oh, what an honor. Her parents must be beaming with pride.

Lzzy Hale — who has a weirder name than the forthcoming Deftones album — was basically named by Revolver “Chick We’d Most Like To Slip The Sausage.”

When is Revolver going to drop this stupid fucking feature? Haven’t they received enough of a backlash yet? And seriously, the list doesn’t change much, save for a newcomer here and there. Otherwise, the list has been the same 10 to 12 chicks for fucking ten years now.

I have no problem with hot chicks — trust me. But this latest list doesn’t feature many actual hot chicks. At this point, the entire issue seems to be grasping at fucking straws.

Plus, I guarantee you fucking 75-percent of these boards lack any actual talent, beyond having a dope ass, bomb-ass titties, or a face that looks pretty with heaps of makeup plastered all over it.

Horse-faced Hale said she’s proud to be named most fuckable. “My view of it really is to make sure that you’re good at what you do, and so that when people actually want to look beyond the centerfold that you’re actually good and you have something to back it up,” she says; was that English? “I think that most of us are really trying to push the envelope and, you know, make sure that we’re musicians first and that the sex is just kind of the icing on the cake.”

Oh please. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.

Here’s Revolver’s new list of the same Top 10 Hottest Chicks in Hard Rock…just placed in different descending order.

1. Lzzy Hale of Halestorm
2. Amy Lee of Evanescence
3. Taylor Momsen of Pretty Reckless
4. Ash Costello of New Year’s Day (who?)
5. Brooklyn Allman of Picture Me Broken
6. Maria Brink of In This Moment
7. Kimberly Freeman of One-Eyed Doll (who?)
8. Anissa Rodriguez of Eyes Set To Kill
9. Alexia Rodriguez of Eyes Set To Kill
10. Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil

Here’s how I would have listed ‘em.

1. Scabbia
2. Anissa
3. Brink
4. Alexia
5. Momsen
6. Brooklyn
7. Ash
8. Lzzy
9. Freeman
10. Amy Lee

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.
About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jesseleelemons Jesse Lemons

    Scabbia all the way. No question.

  • PraiseCamwise

    Grace Perry from Landmine Marathon is always overlooked.

  • Carys Thistlethwaite

    Cristina Scabbia of course, also momsen isnt hard rock or hard anything as far as i can tell, except for maybe maintenance…