Jul 9

LeBron James Moving To The Land of Death Metal

Posted by Chris Harris on July 9, 2010 in Huh?, News, Shamelessness

LeBron James

I knew LeBron wasn’t coming to New York or New Jersey. I figured dude would stay in Cleveland (which shows you how much I know about basketball), but, ultimately, he chose to sign with the Miami Heat. He made the announcement from a school in Connecticut last night during what was perhaps the longest press conference ever. An hour-long press conference to answer one question.

So, LeBron’s moving to Miami. He’s moving to Miami. I wonder if super producer Jason Suecof cares about the big news, being he lives down in Florida? That was one of my first thoughts after LeBron announced the news. Then it got me thinking: I don’t even know if Jason likes basketball, or if he even digs the Heat; he’s originally from Connecticut, so I am guessing he’d be a Celtics fan, like Shadows Fall’s Brian Fair.

Then, I started wondering if any of the other metal dudes from Florida were psyched, because Florida’s home to a lot of metal dudes. Cannibal Corpse, I know, are huge Buffalo Sabres fans. So maybe they don’t care. But what about Erik Rutan of Hate Eternal? The Morbid Angel dudes? The Deicide dudes look like they might dig hoops. I bet Trivium already have their LeBron jerseys ordered.

There are so many awesome bands that hail from Florida, like Morbid Angel, Obituary, Nocturnus, Acheron, Malevolent Creation, Kult ov Azazel, and Atheist. But if any of these guys are into the NBA, who knows if they’re Miami fans or Orlando fans. Nothing says they have to like a Florida team. So, I have no idea if any of the metal bands hailing from the Sunshine State are amped to have LeBron moving to South Beach, but let’s hope that Florida rubs off on LeBron a bit, and he starts listening to Death. That would be kind of cool.

OK, fine…you got me. I’m just doing this for the traffic. But hey, so is everybody!

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About

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC.com, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep.com, AOL’s heavy metal blog, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Harris spent four years as a reporter and on-air talent for MTV News.

  • TheeGoat

    LOL @ Suecof being into sports. Vaporizer endurance bouts are about as sporting as it gets down at The Christmastits Tikifuck