Metallica Planning Two East Coast Shows

Metalbuttlica

My favorite thing chicks say has to be “I usually never do this.” They’re usually uttering these very words right before I put it in…on the first night I’m hanging out with ‘em. They always say it, too. Chicks, if you bang ‘em or get ‘em naked the first night you hang out with them, always insist this is unusual behavior for them.

Yeah, and I usually never speed…unless I’m in a hurry. Kind of reminds me of when blatantly racist assholes say “I’ve got tons of black friends.”

I’ve actually had chicks tell me — after finding out how fucking sweet and tender a kisser I am, with the neck kisses and everything — that “You’re making it hard to say no.” They justify their need for the dong by blaming you and your awesomeness. What does this have to do with Metallica? Fucking nothing.

I was just making an observation. Yes, kids — presume your old pal Chris got some, and let’s just leave it at that. Hence, the lag in posts because I also had to work today. So, Metallica — they’re getting ready for two East Coast U.S. gigs, which are tentatively set for June 23 and June 24.

Exact details will be announced later this month. I’m guessing they’re going to be like those San Franny shows they did, celebrating their bicentennial or something.

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About Chris Harris

Chris Harris is an internationally-published music journalist and writer whose work has appeared on the pages of Rolling Stone, IFC, Revolver, Alternative Press, and Radar. The former news editor for Noisecreep, Harris also served as co-host for the site’s weekly podcast, “Creep Show." Before that, he spent four years writing for MTV News.

  • Duck Butter

    Congratz on the mighty vag pounding that ensued in your bed chamber, if you need someone to hold the camera next time, just sayin…