Papa Roach frontman Jacoby Shaddix told the Associated Press he suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts.
“There was a moment in the record where I was suicidal. I was done. I’m like, ‘I’m over this. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take this pain anymore.’ Like, I feel so alone and broken and just shattered. Like, everything that I had worked for in my life and said that I wasn’t going to be, I don’t want to be like my father — what happens? I’m like this drunk, fuck-up that destroyed his family. I did it. I’m sitting there like, ‘I did everything I said I’d never do.’”
Shaddix fessed up to having substance abuse issues, too.
“It had its clutches in me again. You know, I went out on the last record and I was trying to kid myself and act like I can party like other people and I just can’t. It starts out fun and then it’s fun with problems and then it’s just all problems. I was just a wreck and I was in total denial. My brother came down to the studio and he’s like, ‘I used to look up to you, man. Like, what happened?’”
Shaddix said he awoke the next day “on a new path. I’m cleaning my act up. I’m kicking the booze and the pills and the weed and everything.”
See kids? You could have all the success in the world and a ton of money, and still, you could be a miserable fat fuck who wants to die.