Archive for May, 2013

May 19
DL

The Acacia Strain Boot Guitarist

Posted by Chris Harris on May 19, 2013 in Departures, News

The Acacia Strain’s guitarist who writes all of their music but doesn’t tour with them has been kicked out of the band. Daniel “DL” Laskiewicz revealed the news online. “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I haven’t played a show with The Acacia Strain in years and I’ve just been writing the music for them,” says Read More

Apr 27
Eths

Guitarist Quits Eths

Posted by Chris Harris on April 27, 2013 in Departures, News

Eths has had a lot of lineup shifts recently. They have a new singer, whose sex fields I would plow for days, and now, are down a guitarist. Grégory “Greg” Rouvière has left the Marseille, France-based metal band and says in a statement that, “Due to my injury and a couple of personal issues, I Read More

Mar 24
David Parland

Former Dark Funeral Guitarist Reported Dead

Posted by Chris Harris on March 24, 2013 in News, This Blows

This is a fucking bummer and a half. According to former Dark Funeral drummer from Matte Modin, onetime Dark Funeral, Necrophobic, and Infernal guitarist David Parland has died. Modin says Parland passed on March 19 at the age of 42. No cause of death was revealed. Parland was a founding member of the Swedish melodic Read More

Feb 17
Better you than me

Reverence Guitarist Breaks Hand In Accident

Posted by Chris Harris on February 17, 2013 in News

There goes his sex life. I kid. Detroit, Michigan-based power metal band Reverence reveal that guitarist Bryan Holland has broken his hand in a recent accident, stalling the writing of the band’s forthcoming LP. “I was wanting to keep this as quiet as possible as I’m not looking for any sympathy or pity party, but Read More

Jan 23
Daniel

Evisorax Guitarist Viciously Attacked, Facing Major Surgery

Posted by Chris Harris on January 23, 2013 in Exclusive, Featured, News, This Blows

When I was in college, I was jumped by a bunch of dudes. It was all over a chick. I was in a bar, working my mojo, while my friends were working theirs. I was talking to this chick, and things were going well. Next thing I know, some douche is telling me “I was Read More

Jan 16
Mike Reynolds endorses this image

Winds Of Plague Frontman Talks For Today Controversy

Posted by Chris Harris on January 16, 2013 in Huh?, News

In a condescending message online, Winds Of Plague vocalist Johnny Plague has extended his support to the current members of For Today, who everyone hates now. I was hating For Today before it was popular! I innovate, bitch. Johnny Plague of the California Plagues says he just learned of all the homophobic hullabaloo, and then vouches Read More

Jan 14
Mike Reynolds

Former For Today Guitarist Clarifies Homophobic Comments

Posted by Chris Harris on January 14, 2013 in Huh?, News

By now, you’ve read about For Today’s former guitarist Mike Reynolds and his hatefully ignorant comments on the Newtown shootings and gay people — comments that created such a backlash, dude quit the band. Now, he’s issued a statement trying to clarify his hatred. This is what back-peddling looks like, kids. “My sole concern is Read More

Jan 12
It's Mike!

Homophobic Guitarist Quits Useless Band

Posted by Chris Harris on January 12, 2013 in Departures, News

Damn. That was quite a backlash, and one that was totally deserved. A backlash so intense that homosexual-hating guitarist Mike Reynolds has gone and quit that needless fucking Christian metalcore band For Today. That was fast. I am proud of you, internet. You really stepped up, what with your critical Tweets and your spreading of Read More

Jan 11
For Togay

For Today Have “No Hatred” For Anyone

Posted by Chris Harris on January 11, 2013 in News

It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight — the members of For Today claim they will have no hate for you. The band are at the center of a gay-bashing controversy, stemming from comments made online by guitarist Mike Reynolds. For Today — prime bus crash candidate no one would be giving a fuck Read More

Jan 10
I was going to draw a peen going into his mouth but decided you could just visualize it instead

For Today Guitarist Denounces Homosexuality

Posted by Chris Harris on January 10, 2013 in News

Look, man. We may not agree with guitarist Mike Reynolds’ faith-fueled beliefs, but he is nonetheless entitled to his opinion. Likewise, I am entitled to my opinion that this dude is beyond ignorant. Off the charts ignorant. And, ultimately, at his very heart, an evil prick. Now, onto his gay-bashing Twitter posts: “There IS a Read More