Every Time I Die Added To Warped Lineup

Every Time I Die

Aaaaaand you’re still not going to be attending this summer’s version of the Warped Tour, even after the latest additions to the questionably-assembled bill were announced Wednesday. Now, the lineup boasts those unfunny buttholes in Every Time I Die. Gee, phat. Ice Nine Kills is also playing this year’s Warped, along with the staggering likes […]

Warped Tour: Lineup’s Still Lame


I guess at this point we can assume the entire lineup for Warped Tour’s gonna suck. I mean, each week, Wednesday rolls around, and more bands are added to Warped’s bill. But none are ever any good. Therefore, we can make the conclusion that the Warped Tour itself will suck a big satchel of uncircumcised […]

Warped Tour Lineup: Still A Big Bag Of Suck

Born Of Osiris

The Warped Tour lineup is officially the worst I’ve ever come across. If they added Emmure, that would make it somehow better, in fact. That’s saying a lot. Yesterday, they added six more bands to the bill, and none will have you wishing you could attend. The new add-ons are Born Of Osiris, Yellowcard, The […]

Vans Warped Tour Lineup: Still Lame

Nice haircuts

The organizers of the Vans Warped Tour have done it! They’ve somehow managed to unearth every shitty band in existence for this summer’s edition, which is basically the fest’s 19th year. This week’s additions include Motionless In White, The Word Alive, This Wild Life, Real Friends and Courage My Love. Da fuck? Who names a […]

Warped Tour Adds Terror…But You’re Still Not Going


This just in — hell has not frozen over, folks, so guess what? You’re still not going to see the fucking Warped Tour this year. The latest additions to the bill include Terror and a band called I Fight Dragons. Can anyone be on Warped Tour? I guess when you’ve got 200 bands on your […]

Warped Tour: The Lineup Still Sucks

Less Than Jake

On Wednesday, the Warped Tour once again added a few more names to the lineup for this summer’s festival. The latest additions to the roster are Less Than Jake, Chelsea Grin, Bad Rabbits, Secrets, To The Wind, and MC Chris. No way you’re going, dude. Let’s hope Chelsea Grin doesn’t kill anyone this year. The […]

Comeback Kid Touring With Xibalba

Comeback Kid

Yup. Someone must care. Comeback Kid will be hitting the road in support of their new record this coming February and March. The “Die Knowing” U.S. tour will also feature Backtrack, Xibalba, Downpresser, and To The Wind. Die Knowing will be out in March. It’s a slow news morning. Here’s when and where the tour’ll […]

Dates For The Chariot’s Farewell Tour Leak

The Chariot

The Chariot are breaking up. Rather than just throw in the towel, the band plans to go out with a farewell tour, and cash in before they cash out. While an official announcement is still in the works, dates for The Chariot’s farewell tour with Glass Cloud, Birds In Row, To The Wind and Rebuker […]

The Chariot Split Up

The Chariot

It’s over for The Chariot, a band I never actually understood the appeal of. The Chariot revealed today that they’re done. “Thank you. To everyone on this planet Earth that has ever supported us, helped us, watched us, hung out with us, given us a place to stay, given food, prayed over us, loaned us […]

Terror, Goatwhore Added To New England Metal & Hardcore Festival

"Hey cookie, I dropped my pencil"

They might as well just release the entire lineup already. It’s not like the bill doesn’t already fucking rule. You think adding Terror’s going to get some kid to go, “Wait one hot fucking second! I wasn’t sold until this Terror announcement. Fuck it, I’ll go.” At this point, people are either going or not […]