Gun Shy Assassin’s Tips for Going to the Movies!

Every film fan and even the general audience has had the experience of going to the movies. It is fun and more than that it can be an event. Sometimes the excitement of going to see a big blockbuster in the theater can make for an amazing day or night. You drop down quite a bit of cash to get in and if you didn’t sneak your snacks in, you can look to spend another 20 on popcorn and drinks.

So you’ve spent a decent amount of money to go see this movie and you are looking forward to the enjoyment. You step into the theater, letting the nice cool AC hit your face as you find your seat, while you wait for the previews to start. You notice out of the corner of your eye that someone is texting away, even after the reminder to turn their cell phones off has finished.

Part of the enjoyment of the movies is to let yourself go; to be entertained and for a few hours go into a movie. Nothing can be as annoying than when someone causes you to be pulled out of the film for some reason that should have never happened in the first place. You’ve paid to see the movie, not watch someone else’s drama unfold before you. If you want that, Jerry Springer reruns are still on tv every day.

Here are a few recommendations to ensure that you don’t ruin the film for those who paid to watch the film.

If you are going to see an R rated film (and especially a horror film) do not bring your newborn baby or toddlers into the theater. It is not the audience’s fault that you couldn’t find a babysitter. Recently while going to see ‘Evil Dead’ a couple had what looked like 3 ten year olds and a newborn in the theater. The baby cried a few times as they sat there shoveling popcorn into their gaping maws.

I want to make this clear: I do not blame the baby or the children for being loud. This is just plain stupid parenting to bring your children to an R rated film knowing full well they probably aren’t going to sit still for a whole movie, and one as violent as ‘Evil Dead’. The parents are the ones at fault. I expect kids to get a little worked up during kids films, that is just the nature of children, but this is obviously a film made for adults and you are not only being rude to your children but to the rest of the audience that paid to see this movie without this interruption.

Put your cell phone AWAY.  This is not a new idea that you are supposed to not use a cell phone during a movie. By now everyone knows that it is rude to use your cell phone during a movie. If you can’t disconnect from your technology for two hours then you can at least have the courtesy of going out to the lobby to check your Facebook status. We can all see the glow of your phone and in a dark room it is like a flame to a moth. So give it a break for 120 minutes, you won’t die if you can’t see your twitter feed.

Just shut up. Seriously. No one wants to listen to your personal conversation.  You see the big screen with things happening on it? That’s what people came for, not to listen to you drone on about your goiter. A whisper here and there isn’t the end of the world, but if you wanted to have a conversation you could have gone to a diner. Sometimes when a movie is bad it is funny for people to yell things out or get a little loud. But this doesn’t give you carte blanch to be a dickhead in every single film.

Leave your laser pointer at home. What is this? 1997? Better yet, if you own a laser pointer, just stare into it until you can’t see, you don’t deserve to watch movies if you still own and use a laser pointer.

Clean up after yourself. Yes, we all know that someone gets paid to clean up the theater between each showing of a film, but that doesn’t mean that you get to treat the theater like your own personal garbage dump. Act like a human being, take the extra three seconds and throw your trash in the garbage can. No one should have to pry your gum off the floor because you were too lazy to throw it out.

If someone is breaking these rules, don’t be afraid to say something. You paid good money to enjoy yourself and not have a jerk waste your time. If you say something to them and they continue doing it, don’t be afraid to talk to the management.  They theater owners need to be more active in following up with their own rules as well.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

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