2012 Revolver Golden Gods Awards Announced

Kate will not be at the Golden Gods

These awards are fucking lame beyond belief. I can not believe this shit has actually been happening for four years now…that this awards show franchise has taken hold. Fucking thing sucks.

The fourth annual Revolver Golden Gods award show is going down April 11 at Club Nokia in Downtown Los Angeles, and somehow involves XBox Live. I don’t care.

On that same day, The Grammy Museum — next door to Club Nokia — will open its new exhibit “Golden Gods: The History Of Heavy Metal.”

Mounted in coordination with Revolver, the exhibit will feature never-before-displayed artifacts including instruments, stage props, handwritten lyrics, clothing and costumes, alongside original album artwork, posters and live-performance and interview footage.

Sounds dumb. Here are this year’s electrifying nominees.

Best Guitarist
Black Veil Brides’ Jinxx and Jake Pitts
Five Finger Death Punch’s Zoltan Bathory and Jason Hook
Lamb of God’s Willie Adler and Mark Morton
Machine Head’s Robb Flynn and Phil Demmel
Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine and Chris Broderick
Trivium’s Matt Heafy and Corey Beaulieu

Best Drummer
Anthrax’s Charlie Benante
Five Finger Death Punch’s Jeremy Spencer
Foo Fighters’ Taylor Hawkins
Lamb of God’s Chris Adler
Mastodon’s Brann Dailor
Meshuggah’s Tomas Haake

Best Vocalist
Sebastian Bach
Black Veil Brides’ Andy Biersack
James Durbin (really?)
Evanescence’s Amy Lee
Five Finger Death Punch’s Ivan Moody
Korn’s Jonathan Davis

Album Of The Year
Anthrax’s Worship Music
Evanescence’s self-titled LP
Five Finger Death Punch’s American Capitalist
Foo Fighters’ Waisting Light
Korn’s The Path Of Totality
Lamb of God’s Resolution

Best Live Band
Avenged Sevenfold
Foo Fighters
Guns N’ Roses
Judas Priest

The rest of the categories are pure garbage and I have no time for garbage.

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