Aerosmith’s Hamilton Launches Line Of Plush Sex Toys

The must-have toy of the 2013 Christmas season

Have you ever looked at a Beanie Baby and thought, “I’d want to collect at least a dozen of those, if only they were shaped like cocks and pussies?”

Me neither. But Tom Hamilton of Aerosmith probably did.

Tom’s the brains behind a new line of Beanie Baby-like toys called Obscenies.

Pictured with this post is both Scrotilla the Hun and Robin Redbreasts.

Who in the fuck would buy this shit?

I guess people who get presents for other people from Spencers.

“They’re like the equivalent to Beanie Babies, except they’re dirty… I would tell people about it, and they’d be like, ‘Well, when are you going to do it?’ So I found somebody who had the connections to have plush toys made. There was some factory in China that was able to produce about 8,000 of these things.”

I wonder how many Chinese children broke their fingers making Tom’s little penis and pussy pals.

Reports claim the Obscenies are manufactured and ready to go but Hamilton is still trying to figure out his marketing plan.

“I love a good punch line, but that’s doesn’t mean it’s going to be a commercial success… They’re pretty hilarious, but I’ve never been able to find anybody who could figure out how to sell them,” says Tom.


“Maybe people will hear about it and sort of latch on to it. I think I’m just going to take them out on the road and throw them out to people when I’m onstage.”

I’m surprised this unfunny fuck didn’t make an asshole toy, too, and call it Mr. Bunghole.

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