And Now, Here’s A Nude Picture Of Oceano’s Adam Warren

Adam Warren

I happen to think Oceano’s last album, Contagion, was the worst thing to happen to metal since the death of Ronnie James Dio. They totally suck and pander to the lowest common denominator. In fact, the band’s latest effort even made our Worst of 2010 list, because it sucked shit.

Now, I have another reason not to like this band: I know what lead singer Adam Warren’s dong looks like.

I’m going to make this edict: If you’re in a band that I like (not that I have ever liked Oceano…let’s make that clear), and dick pics surface of any of your members (no pun intended), I will stop liking you. Because taking dick pics is maybe the dumbest thing you can do, especially in light of the launch of IsAnyoneUp?, which is where you can find more nudes of Adam.

Stop taking dick pics, band dudes. Especially when you’ve got nothing that impressive between your legs. Just stop it. No one wants to see a naked dude. Dudes are gross. They’re hairy, sinewy, and fucking disgusting. I can’t even take a shower without nearly throwing up. Naked pictures should be taken by females, not males. Because I think we can all agree that the female body is a work of art.

And hey Adam…you’re lame, your band is lame, and you’re peen is miniscule.

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