And Now, Those Mötley Crüe, Poison Tour Dates

Motley Crue

If you haven’t heard, Mötley Crüe and Poison will be going on either a co-headlining tour — known around the office as “The Glands Across America Tour” — or a Mötley Crüe headlining run this summer, with either the New York Dolls or Poison AND the New York Dolls opening. Really, it all depends on whether you’re talking to Nikki Sixx or Bret Michaels.

I know — it’s fucking confusing as all hell. Regardless, those dates can be found after the jump, courtesy of Blabbermouth. The New York Dolls have never, ever received this many Google News alerts in one week. Never.

I, for one, think you should all shun this tour. Why? Because if you buy a ticket to this show, you’re supporting Vince Neil in some way. And when you do that, the terrorists win…and pedestrians and guys named Razzle lose. How’s that house arrest treating you, dude? Comfy? Miss the hot breath of a burly dude on the back of your neck yet?

Mötley Crüe/Poison dates:

5/29 – Pryor, OK – Rocklahoma
6/7 – Dallas, TX – Gexa Energy Pavilion
6/9 – San Antonio, TX – AT&T Center
6/10 – Houston, TX – Toyota Center
6/12 – Albuquerque, NM – Hard Rock Pavilion
6/14 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
6/15 – San Francisco, CA – Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
6/17 – Phoenix, AZ – Desert Sky Pavilion
6/18 – Las Vegas, NV – Venue TBD
6/19 – Salt Lake City, UT – USANA Amphitheatre
6/21 – Kansas City, MO – Sprint Center
6/22 – Maryland Heights, MO – Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
6/24 – Minneapolis, MN – Target Center
6/25 – Milwaukee, WI – Bradley Center
6/26 – Cincinnati, OH – Riverbend Music Center
6/28 – Toronto, ON – Molson Amphitheatre
6/ 29 – Clarkston, MI – DTE Energy Music Theatre
7/1 – Tinley Park, IL – FMB Amphitheatre
7/2 – Noblesville, IN – Verizon Wireless Music Center
7/3 – Nashville, TN – Bridgestone Arena
7/5 – Hollywood, FL – Seminole Hard Rock Live Arena
7/6 – Tampa, FL – St. Pete Times Forum
7/8 – Biloxi, MS – Mississippi Coast Coliseum
7/9 – Pelham, AL – Verizon Wireless Music Center
7/10 – Atlanta, GA – Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood
7/12 – Charlotte, NC – Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
7/13 – Hershey, PA – Star Pavilion at Hersheypark
7/15 – Uncasville, CT – Mohegan Sun Arena
7/16 – Camden, NJ – Susquehannna Bank Center
7/19 – Mansfield, MA – Comcast Center
7/20 – Uniondale, NY – Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum
7/22 – Darien Center, NY – Darien Lake Performing Arts Center
7/23 – Saratoga Springs, NY – Saratoga Performing Arts Center
7/24 – Pittsburgh, PA – Stage AE
7/27 – Cheyenne, WY – Frontier Days
7/29 – Youngstown, OH – Covelli Centre
7/30 – Frederick, MD – Outlaw Jam 2011
7/31 – Scranton, PA – Toyota Pavilion at Montage Mountain
8/5 – Tomah, WI – Fort McCoy

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