At a press conference held yesterday, Angus Young expressed confusion about which of his bandmates was recently arrested for allegedly attempting to hire a hit man and possessing of several controlled substances.
The lead guitarist and founding member of the legendary rock group AC/DC told reporters that he was “Aware that a drummer was arrested, but which one, exactly? And on what charges? I lost count after Peter Clack.”
Clack, the fifth and eighth drummer of AC/DC, is not the drummer who was arrested.
An interviewer reminded Young of the charges, including the possession of methamphetamine and cannabis. “A drummer for AC/DC who smoked meth and pot? You’ll have to narrow it down more, mate. Was it Simon Wright? Noel Taylor? Maybe Chris Slade? I’m sorry they all kind of just sit behind drums, wear a lot of black, and and pass out drunk. It’s quite a conundrum being a member of AC/DC that’s needed less than the bassist.”
One reporter spoke up, telling Young that the drummer in question is Phil Rudd, to which Young responded, “Phil? He’s our drummer? No! I thought he quit in the early eighties?”
Rudd did leave his position as the ninth drummer of the band in 1983 but took to the drumming throne once more in 1994 as the eleventh drummer of AC/DC. He has proceeded to rapidly grow his wrinkley jowls and eye socket-skin to a never-changing 4/4 beat ever since.
“I don’t know. I thought at one point we just started using a drum machine, or, like, a robot drummer we didn’t have to interact with so much,” says Young. “That’s all we ever really needed. All the drum parts are the same for all of the songs. Four on the floor, then four more, then four beats, then another four beats.”
Young added, “the only song people want to hear from us is Back in Black, anyway. Sometimes, during shows, that’s the only song we play and no one notices or cares. Literally an hour and a half of Back in Black.”
Young answered several more questions, revealing that he has in fact been wearing the same shorts since he was in high school. “I’m a little guy, so it works out. Why bother shopping for new clothes if these ones still fit and barely smell like the lap dances I’ve been getting since the early seventies?”
Doctors speculate that Young’s olfactory nerves are completely destroyed.
Young had to cut the press conference short after he received a cellphone call. His ringtone was “Back in Black.”
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