Some people must have a ton of time on their hands.
How else do you explain ThePRP’s discovery of a year-old Tumblr post, written by Tim Lambesis, detailing what the As I Lay Dying frontman referred to dismissively as his “prison style workout.”
I can only imagine how much working out Tim must be doing now that he’s in the slammer. I bet you he’s working all kinds of muscles he didn’t even know he had.
Like his sphincter muscle.
Here’s an excerpt from Tim’s fortuitous Tumblr post on pumping up, prison style, compliments of ThePRP.
“Every time I leave for a tour I have to get creative with what we call ‘prison style’ workouts. I don’t claim to be the authority on this stuff at all, so I’m seeking advice as much as I am dishing it out. For starters, there are always the basics you can do in any prison cell (or backstage room).
– pushups (clap pushups, triangle, wide grip, etc.)
– abs (crunches, jackknives, leg raises, bicycles, planks, etc)
– chair dips for triceps
- lifting luggage for biceps
– jump squats
– handstand presses for shoulders,” he writes.
“I’ll be really up front about that fact that I haven’t been able to gain a noticeable amount of muscle doing any of these things. All of these exercises really only help me maintain what I’ve been able to do from real gym workouts while off tour. These type of workouts can certainly help a person tighten up, get stronger, and get in great shape overall though. To actually build bigger muscle though, you have to lift an amount of weight that can take that muscle all the way to failure, usually in under 12 reps. That’s why the hardest thing for me is putting on size.
“When I do get the chance off of tour at my local gym, the idea is to completely tear down a muscle by hitting it from a minimum of three different angles. An example on an upper back day would be to do vertical pull downs, high rows with different widths to the grip, and also low rows. The weight I would try to use would be whatever is heavy enough that I can’t do over 12 reps and sometimes as low as 4. Also, to cause my muscles to full break down and fail, I often need a spotter to force me to do at least one or two more reps than what my body can handle on its own.
“Those are the basic principle I work out by. I’m curious to get other peoples opinions since there are thousands of people who swear they know best at my gym alone. I also don’t recommend anyone lifting weights that way if they haven’t already done other simpler exercises to get the muscles used to the pressure before going for heavy weight.
“I’ve only been working out for under a year and at that only about three times a week. Most people try to overdue it and get hurt. If you’re new to this, then do more full body (crossfit, kettlebells, etc) type workouts for at least three months before trying to look like Ahhnold. In my year of working out, I personally spent the first six months or so dabbling in a variety of kettlebells and prison style workouts while on tour so that my body was ready for what I’m trying to do now.
“Lastly, either be an athlete or just admit that working out is mainly for vanity. Simply being healthy requires eating healthy and jogging your butt around the block from time to time. I admit that I have no practical reason for getting in great shape other than for intimidating girly men in the front row at ADM shows. Ahhnold still intimidates me, so I have a small man’s complex at 6’3”. My saving grace is that I’ve picked up a number of other hobbies to balance out my meathead ways. Check out documentaryheaven.com and come talk to me about something new you’ve learned at one the upcoming AILD shows. Overall, I’d rather talk about documentaries and/or charities than I would protein shakes.”
I wonder if he’d keep a prison diary for us. Dude obviously loves to write.
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