Ask A Bombshell With Zeena Koda

Ask A Bombshell With Zeena Koda

We’re glad to have Zeena Koda back on the site. The Sirius XM Liquid Metal DJ doesn’t pull any punches in her periodic advice column for the site, and if you know her in real life, that wouldn’t surprise you. She returns with her answers to your tough (and not-so-tough) questions. At the end of the post, look for a teaser trailer for something special Zeena’s doing with Vevo later this week.

I’ve been delinquent, add me to the naughty list of 2012. But since it’s 2013 let’s start this bitch out right. Here are some of your outrageous questions…seems like everyone’s love life is in disarray, just in time for Valentines Day!

I’m not into buying jewelry for my chick, but want to get her something nice for Valentines Day. Any gift suggestions? — Carl

Whatever you do, do NOT go to Kay or Jared. Nothing screams “I have no creativity” greater than copping a synthetic diamond from those chain jewelers. I can promise you her expression won’t scream “he went to Jared.” It’s like getting anniversary dinner at McDonald’s.

I would say two of the greatest gifts you can give your significant other is A.) your undivided attention and time or B.) something personalized and created by you. Whether it be a song, painting or even a hand-written letter any woman who is genuinely in love with her man can appreciate something that is from the heart. Since few men can even muster the confidence to bring their creativity there, it’s even more endearing when they can see above material bullshit and connect that emotion. Although I have no clue what romance truly feels like anymore because in my life it is a lost art, I can guarantee you nothing will land you that killer blowjob like a personalized gift or experience. Also, taking her to a sick show can seal the deal…if she doesn’t like music, well, time to find a new significant other.

What albums from 2012 were among your favorite? I’d be interested to hear your opinion. — Sandy

So many awesome albums last year but I’ll run down my top five with a brief synopsis:
1. Deftones — Koi No Yokan
I’m a die hard fan and this album delivered on so many levels. Sexy, melodic but still heavy – Chino can do no wrong.
2. Converge – All We Love We Leave Behind
Converge are just a flawless bad, between production, creativity and Bannon’s lyrical content this album is killer from start to finish. Tears and punching, my kinda party.
3. Black Breath – Sentenced to Life
Black metal meets hardcore, really reminds me of how much I loved Himsa before they threw in the towel. Evil with high energy and perfect production.
4. High on Fire – De Vermis Mysteriis
Matt Pike don’t need no stinkin shirt.
5. 2:54 – 2:54
Sexy, female vocals with dark tones, plus a band named after part of a Melvin’s song. Perfection.

I’m an older gal, pushing 40. Thanks to Facebook, I have reconnected with people from my past, including the guy who got away. I haven’t seen him in years, and he’s divorced with a kid, living on the other side of the country. I wish I could rekindle things with him, but I don’t see that happening with the distance. Any suggestions? — Lovelorn in Lowell

It’s time to face time and give it a shot. The way I see it, no matter the distance when you have a connection with someone it is always worth exploring the opportunity. Half the time people drive us apeshit when they are in close proximity so why not give a little distance a shot?

Facebook is such a curse but also a blessing like that, there are people there who you can rediscover after time despite miles between them. Sometimes you realize exactly why it never worked out but you can also be surprised by how connected you could still feel. All worth the time, especially if they are looking GOOD. Perk the puppies up, slap on some makeup and a zexy dress and get in some face time ASAP. You never know, might lead to some Skype sex and subsequent in-person visits…YOLO!

Why do we constantly go back into relationships that we know are bad for us to begin with? – Hollis

Power pussy and dickmatization. It’s that pain that feels SO good, over and over again. I have written countless songs about this and experienced this over and over again in my personal life. In the game of love, someone will always lose in the end. When you are the non-reciprocating party it’s a pain to keep them around and an ego check to have the power to let them go. When you are the fool in love, you will do anything to hold on to that feeling and believe in you heart of hearts that you will one day do something to make that person change their mind. They never do and you will constantly be stuck in that deep seeded hope that you are the person to change that. The laws of attraction are cruel and unruly and as tempting as it is to revisit our patterns it is a dangerous, fatal habit. When someone warns you, you should listen and move on. TRUST.

Why do almost all Boston hardcore groups never last? – Zerk

Because like all good things, they need to come to an end. If you keep riding the same wave eventually your creativity will burn out and frankly so many of those Bahston acts are so tight, I’d rather see them reunite for tours every few years than run out of creativity and bleed into bad metal-core territories. Let them live fondly on our fighting hearts, it’s a hard working man’s world up there and their marriage to the music can’t last forever.

When will Necrophagist release a new album? – Evan

Google it.

Why do girls make me feel funny? – Ben

Because you’re either A.) straight or B.) gay. If you’re straight and feel the growth in da pantalones when you see a set of beewbz, run with that funny feeling and give the hose a reason to spray. If you find those funny feelings aligned with repulsion, time to start cursing the dance clubs for a fine gentleman.

Why are some men attracted to the “damsel in distress?” – Steph

Oh man, amazing question! I see this phenomenon all the time and I truly feel that this is a natural male reaction. As a strong woman I can tell you, most men are not super down with a woman taking the reins and want to feel the depth of “manliness” by offering that strength, “saving” them essentially. To be honest, even I am a sucker for this and it’s a rare dude who makes me feel like a woman but when I find that one I fall hard. I’ve often asked myself why I feel this way, I mean for fucks sake I am constantly advocating women’s equality and rights, why am I falling into the exact thing I see as a weakness.

My theory is that it’s nature and as hard as we fight it, naturally men will be attracted to a woman they want to “rescue” because it solidifies their position as a MAN. I don’t really see a problem with this in some ways but I would recommend it in small doses because no one likes a whiny, dependent bitch and that goes for BOTH sexes. On the flip side I have seen MANY men who are so dependent on their wives to “take care” of them that they reek of mommy issues. As much as we both try to defy the laws of nature, it seems that its strength will always shine through.

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