Zeena Koda is back once again with her awesome answers to your tough-ass questions. As always, we need more questions for Zeena — musician, writer, Sirius XM Liquid Metal DJ, and all around cool chick — to answer so leave them for us in the comments section below. Now, onto more pressing matters…like career advice.
“Zeena: What advice would you give someone in high school who wants to become a DJ? – Sammy”
The Bombshell says…
I definitely cannot say that I followed a conventional path to getting where I am today. My dream in high school was to be a full-time musician, a famous singer that sang her heart out to adoring masses every night and for all intents and purposes, I fought to the death (and brink of poverty) after high school to try and make this happen. However, being in a band is much like being in a decaying marriage — the love is always “real” but making things work out requires a lot of X factors that people never account for in their dream lives.
It’s hard to get five people to pour out the same amount of blood, sweat, and tears at the same time and for every successful working band I meet, I tip my hat off to them for working through every bump for a common cause. At any rate, once I realized the dream of making a million dollars from my band was not going to happen I continued to make music without the pressure and made my foray into the business side of music.
Looking behind the curtain is never pretty but my adoration of all music allows me to be passionate about delivering the midway to my audience — perspective from a musician that isn’t totally sugar-coated in industry hype. In so many words I like to keep it real. I’d say my BEST advice for someone at the high school level would be to take every experience in, follow through with every action wholeheartedly, avoid burning bridges and most of all, stay true to you and make sure you are in it for the right reasons.
Some people love the fame, some people love the music and many more just love the thrill of the chase. A good DJ in my eyes relates on a level that most people can connect with, humanizing the mystique, injecting in humor and drawing from a personal knowledge, whether it be hands-on or through research. I’ve been slammed before for mixing up facts but it’s only human and as a DJ, I try my best to deliver the truth as I know it at that moment. Some are historians and some are participants, and I don’t think either has a greater value over another.
It all just depends how each individual enjoys dissecting their information and most closely relates. Find your medium, be informed musically, always ask a shitload of questions about areas that are gray to you and most of all, build up — never tear down. Whether you are a musician, DJ, VJ, journalist or merch guy, resilience and the ability to take blows is essential in this biz. Many people will tell you “NO” in your quest for that one, sweet “YES.”
“Zeena – I have no problem kissing my guy after he goes down on me, but he refuses to kiss me after I’ve given him a blowjob…even if he doesn’t finish. He’s totally bizarre, right? – Jill B.”
Just foolish on his part! Given the logistics of GOOD sex — it needs to get a little nasty at some point to be hot.
A memorable and fulfilling sexual experience should include kissing at any given time and it is always a downer when your partner pussies out (zing!) and doesn’t forsake the same inconveniences you take on to make it steamy. He’s definitely not bizarre; I’m sure there are plenty of men that won’t do the same just as many women wouldn’t kiss their dude after they lap up the kitten milk — some people just aren’t into it.
I’m a big fan of fair is fair though; if he won’t kiss you after, start refusing your equally-as-valuable smooch and see what he says. Lay down the terms; if he still refuses then you might have to learn to deal with it — as long as you’re getting off and enjoying it for the most part I’m sure it will be okay, you can’t always have it all!
“Why do men say they are going to call then don’t?” – Arielle”
If I had the universal answer for this all too often asked question, I would be a millionaire by now. I think this spans across genders though; I’ve definitely been in situations where I have never called the guy back out of fear of hurting them or just situational complications that I didn’t want to involve them in. Shit just happens!
A no call, no show can be the product of so many factors — maybe you fell in quicker than they did, maybe they already have a love interest that they neglected to tell you about, or maybe they just aren’t into you. So many “maybes” but to me, if you give two, or even one fuck, you will call or hit someone up. In the dating game you can’t lose sight of dignity and the chase; if there was any kind of interest and attraction to begin with, these tools can be your saving grace.
Timing really accounts for 75 percent of success rate. You can meet the perfect person at the wrong time, and wrong person at the perfect time for you to allow their venom to flow in, but hounding them down is never the way to go. Bottom line — if someone wants to speak to you, they will make the effort. I’m a firm believer of going with your gut instinct and if it doesn’t feel open and right, it’s probably best you didn’t get that call anyways.
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