Ask A Bombshell With Zeena Koda

Ask A Bombshell With Zeena Koda

What would we do without Zeena Koda? She’s always here for us, to answer your silly, perverse questions. Seriously, folks…there’s something wrong with some of you. But Zeena — who you know and love from Sirius XM’s Liquid Metal channel — likes helping. She’s a helper.

“Out of the Big 4 or even Big 5, who currently is the best band. If you say Metallouca, I hope you are typing in a full bathtub. — Chris C.”

The Bombshell says…
If I gave audience to Loutallica on that level, I might drown myself slowly. Although, one way you can look at it: that mashup has a dribble of hope. Think about it, Metallica are probably one of the only heavy bands that can even have the liberty of producing an album solely for artistic purposes.

If Metallica were one of the thousands of budding bands that struggle to even put out a full-length, it would be a WAY different story but alas, they are Metallica and good for them for still pushing on to try new things. As for the sound of it well…you do what you can.

My fave of the Big 4 lineup without a doubt is Slayer. When you hear Slayer, whether it be from the older or newer collection, even those questionable tidbits in-between, you know you are hearing FUCKING SLAYER. There is something endearing about the purist approach they take and I can always respect that, collectively, as a band, they KNOW what their value is and why people want to hear those songs that helped shape their love of metal.

As artists in a collective it can be trying not to be able to pursue other avenues but Slayer take those feelings elsewhere via other projects and keep the sound of the band consistent and brutal. They continually tour and always deliver a solid show, I can say that EVERY Slayer show I have been to has been at the LEAST good, if not amazing. Also, Slayer is the only of the Big 4 that I consider to be SEXY music…try banging out a chick to Seasons — the rhythms are HYPNOTIC. In my finest Jersey accent, I scream that call proudly – PLAY SLAYYYYYYERRRRR!

“I need your help. My wife wants me to masturbate and then swallow my own jizz. She said what’s good for her should be good for me. Save me from having to do this. — Andrew from Las Vegas”

The Bombshell says…
I love your wife already; she’s a woman who understands equality. Personally though, cum is fucking gross on the palate. Some worse than others, but real life — especially with your treasured wife — does not lend itself to glorified porn behavior. I mean, porn stars get PAID to swallow that shit!

If you want to make her happy and this is TRULY something she wants, I say give it a shot, but be forewarned — have some chaser handy because you aren’t ready for the grossness women bear with that. I would say though — let it smooth over. If she brings it up again, give her kitten a killer lickin’ and pray she lets the orgasm be a mind eraser.

“This may seem like an odd question, but Chris said anything goes on Facebook. I have the damnedest time remembering people’s names when I meet them. Are there any secrets to remember names, other than getting a new brain? I am good with faces, just shit with names. — U.K. Glenn”

The Bombshell says…
Oh MAN this is probably one of my BIGGEST vices! I must say that Facebook and Twitter have been great reminders post-meeting, to associate and put a name with a face but it’s a tricky situation at times, because you might forget small details that will help you connect.

I have found that the best way to remember a name is to either A.) Associate a face with the name by linking it with something that is second nature for you (i.e.; connecting a person’s name with an animal or object).

Sidebar: I had a guy I used to call Sharky because his face reminded me of a shark; I never forgot his name though because it cracked me up so much.

Or, you can B.) Repeat the name three times within the conversation, so you can audibly retain the information and truly learn it. Although, I usually forget anyways because I meet a ton of random people. The latter may seem excessive but works and will make you seem very attentive. Quitting the greenery too helps — we all need that extra brain power at the end of the day.

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