Attention: Those Of You Who’ve Inquired About Writing For GSA

Join the dark side

I get emails more often than you’d think (an average of two or three a month) from dudes and ladies asking for “jobs” at GunShyAssassin, perhaps not realizing that I’m really just one grumpy motherfucker who longs for the days when metal was metal, hardcore was hardcore, and it all fucking ruled and, perhaps most importantly, had balls.

Most even include resume attachments.

So, last year, I held a contest to find aspiring metal writers for GSA. I had them contribute guest columns we ran on the site, and after a certain period of time, we asked readers to vote on Facebook for the two writers whose work they liked the best.

Then, Sean Harris won the popular vote, and has been writing for us ever since. Now, I need another reader to join the team.

Of course, writing for GunShyAssassin has its perks. But does it pay anything? Look, no one who writes for any of the metal blogs you visit when you’re bored at work get paid for the various posts they write…none.

They do it for either the glory, the exposure, or those aforementioned perks — tickets, album downloads, the chance to chat with some of your favorite bands, and the hoes.

And to be just totally fucking honest with you, I don’t make a dime doing this site, after web, cloud, and pizza expenses.

And yes, I was kidding about the hoes.

Here’s what you need to do to win this year: I want your best prose on the following topic…The Five Bands You Need To See Live.

No more than 1,000 words, please. If I were you, I’d include a graph or two about each band, perhaps pointing out what makes them so spectacular live.

If either your writing or your selections are cause for concern, we will be brutally fucking honest with you. Send your columns to chris[at]gunshyassassin[dot]com, and we’ll post them on the site. Before summer’s end, we’ll have a winner, who will get to write up to three uncensored, unadulterated posts a week for the site.

Sound good? Great. Good luck. And be smart about it.

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