Austrian Death Machine Mastermind Tim Lambesis Gives Fans A Taste Of What Their Money’s Buying

Arnold Schwarzenegger

If you helped to fund the forthcoming third Austrian Death Machine album, I have one thing to say: HA!

You sucker!

You just helped pay for improvements to one of Tim Lambesis’ motorcycles or bought more weights for his home gym. And you helped fund more bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions.

Lambesis released the audio that follows at the end of this post, to make people think Schwarzenegger — who is the inspiration for his mediocre side project — is making a guest appearance on the record.

I’d believe it. I mean, what the hell else is Arnold doing these days — banging more women who look like men? Or making more action flick duds?

Fuck this whole thing, man.

This is an outrage. You should feel insulted by this Kickstarter crap.

Austrian Death Machine’s Triple Brutal has no solid release date yet.

The album will boast guest appearances by Bleeding Through guitarist Dave Nassie, Allegaeon’s Ryan Gilsan, Impending Doom drummer Brandon Trahan, God Forbid guitarist Doc Coyle, Carnifex vocalist Scott Lewis and ex-Sworn Enemy guitarist Lorenzo “The Main Event” Antonucci.

Anyone else ever wonder why Arnold never shortened his last name to “Schwarz.” It would have prevented a lot of embarrassing pronunciation issues.

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