Barney And Friends

Sean Harris

Now I’m a real thrash metal junkie but lately I’ve been getting more and more into heavier stuff. I attended my first official death metal concert last Tuesday and the results came back positive. Cannibal Corpse headlined and I must say, it’s one of the most intense sets I have ever witnessed. The fans, the atmosphere, the music and the band we’re just bursting at the seams, unable to contain the ferocious metal. My metal partner in crime Sabotage, as she likes to be called, was also popping her proverbial death metal show cherry as well. We mostly stayed off to the side during Cannibal’s set, in fear of well, death. Those fans get pretty nutty. “Hammer Smashed Face” started up and I ignored the fact that my 5’8, 140 lbs. frame might not hold up in the pit.

Meh, what are doctors for? 

I tore that shit up if you could believe it! Stayed on my feet, dodged an elbow from a guy twice my size and crowd surfed! At a Cannibal show, in my book, that’s a victory and a half. 

Anyway, as fun as near death sounds, it was the lead up to that climax that made my day unforgettable. Archspire was the opener and they’re a local technical death metal act from Vancouver. They rocked the joint and their vocalist Oli Peters showed off his comedy chops as well. 

“A metalcore band was supposed to open on this tour but their van kept breaking down.”

Yes!

Even earlier in the day we met up with a bunch of our Granville Street buddies. Michelle Machete (awesome name) was more than pleasant as we regaled each other with show and interview stories. One thing everyone agrees with on that street… Scott Ian’s a dick. 

A man named Micah was stoned out of his tree, proudly proclaiming that the Black Veil Brides are garbage. You don’t need to be sober to figure that out. Moreover he couldn’t believe I write for GunShyAssassin.com! He reads everyday! Stoners are a huge demographic, right Chris? 

Of course how can I not mention the whole reason I’m writing this. Barney Fucking Greenway! Napalm Death’s set was killer as always but it was my interview with him that proved how classy and cool he really is. He has this dry British wit about him and it made me feel really comfortable with him from the second we locked eyes. An interesting cat no doubt, as he has been vegan/vegetarian since 14 years of age and he brings a banana with him to every interview. It was rather gruesome to hear about his story of when they were scheduled to play a gig at a horse slaughterhouse in Italy

The man’s been all over the world time and time again and he isn’t jaded by it at all. You can tell he loves what he does and he’s one of those good guys in the metal world. We need less assholes and more dudes like Barney and his friends in Napalm. Seriously, turn off that shitty BVB or Asking Alexandria.

You suffer…but why?

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