Big Surprise: Motley Crue Doing Vegas Residency

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Good for Motley Crue. They deserve it. They deserve to do a bunch of shows in Las Vegas and have buttloads of gamblers go see them play and make tons of scratch being douches. Good for them, man.

Last night on a very special “Piers Morgan Tonight,” which, let’s just admit it, is pretty fucking unwatchable. I hate that Piers Morgan’s shitty attitude. He’s shitty.

Anyways, the mostly well-preserved members of Motley Crue were on Piers’ show, and reveal that they would become “the first hard rock band to sign a short-term residency at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas.”

Seems a step down to me, but what do I know.

The Crue will play a three-week series of three-and four-night concerts a week at the off-Strip casino starting on February 3. Oh man, it’s not even on the fucking Strip? That means Vince Neil will have to drive there…OH NO!!! Be on the lookout for a 5-foot-tall ice-skating soccer mom with a goatee and a 6-foot-blonde bimbo on her arm, driving in a sports car…give that bitch some distance.

And by bitch, I mean Vince Neil.

“We’re the first hard rock band ever to have a residency [in Las Vegas],” Vince said to Piers. “There’s been bands like Santana and Elton John and these kinds of acts, but for us…Motley Crue, we’re all about theater and about over-the-top stage show, so it’s a perfect fit for us. So we’re really, really excited.”

Fuck you, Vince.

To purchase tickets, go to Ticketmaster.com and use the pre-sale code “SIN13.” And have a great time watching a bunch of crusty old dudes rock the fuck out, you fuck.

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