Bret Michaels Selling New Cologne

Roses & Thorns being hawked on TV

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I’d rather douse myself in rubbing alcohol and smoke a cigarette.

But maybe you’d like to smell like Bret Michaels of Poison. Something tells me that dude smells like a combination of low tide and hot dog water in real life. But I’m sure “Roses & Thorns” smells somewhat different.

Bret’s been hawking his new cologne on the Home Shopping Network, of all places.

Order the cologne here for $60.

Bret’s own site says the cologne is “an exhilarating scent with a mysterious kicker…leading to sexy results.”

Or you could smear poop all over your armpits.

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