Bruce Dickinson: Next Monopoly Piece?

Bruce...Bruce...

Bruce…

Bruce Dickinson has been quite a Chatty Cathy as of late. He’s been burning the dildo at both ends, being spotlighted in the mainstream news circuit for all of his entrepreneurial endeavors while slamming the biggest names in metal, and parading the fucking goodness that Iron Maiden still are.
 
Bruce will be piloting his own mock Red Baron in a WWI tribute mock dogfight on the day that marks the 100th anniversary of the start of the war. Then he’s gonna run around on stage for two hours singing and the band will have never sounded better.
 
Then he said that Metallica are bigger than Maiden but they’re not Maiden, implying Maiden are bigger no matter what.

Lars said we wouldn’t argue with that. Bruce won.

“I got into trouble for saying that we’re better than Metallica … and, it’s true!” Dickinson told Metal Hammer magazine. “They might be bigger than us and they might sell more tickets than us and they might get more gold-plated middle-class bourgeoisie turning up to their shows but they’re not Maiden. I did say it’s a bit of a wind-up. I thought, if I’m going to turn into an a–hole, I might as well, you know, go for it!”
 
Then there’s Bruce singing Coverdale era Deep Purple jams with Glenn Hughes. Pimp stuff.
 
Oh, and Bruce says “Fame is the excrement of creativity” AND slams Rob Halford.
 

“People say, ‘What’s it like standing onstage in front of quarter of a million people?’ I say, ‘I really can’t tell you, actually, because I’m too busy.’ You have no time to stand there and go, ‘Let me just stop thinking about the song, stop performing and let me just look at all these people looking at me … OK, thank you very much!’

“I see these wankers onstage at places like fucking Glastonbury wandering around as if they had a mirror attached to themselves, gurning for the fucking cameras and paying no attention whatsoever to that kid in the front row….

“We should be self-obsessed; actually we’re audience-obsessed. That’s what makes the difference between Maiden and everything else.

“I’m not interested in being famous. Fame is the excrement of creativity, it’s the shit that comes out the back end, it’s a by-product of it. People think it’s the excrement that you should be eating. It’s not. It’s the creativity and the audience and being there in the moment.”

 
Asked if his voice has changed with age, Dickinson said:

“Yes, the tone of it changes because your body shape changes. As you get older, your voice actually gets weightier, it gets fatter. [But with Maiden] there’s only one singer, there’s nobody hiding behind the amps, unlike some other guys we shan’t mention. And we still don’t have an Autocue. Yay! I never realized that people were using Autocues. What the fuck is that all about? People pay good money and you can’t even remember the sodding words.

“The daftest one I ever saw was [Judas Priest’s] ‘Breaking The Law.’ It’s on the fucking Autocue. ‘Breaking the law, breaking the law/Breaking the law, breaking the law/Breaking the law, breaking the law/Breaking the law’ — guess what? — ‘breaking the law.’ It’s ludicrous.”

In other news, Bruce is launching a humanitarian blimp thing or something that’s the world’s largest aircraft.
 
Bruce is also giving a lot of keynote speeches. Seriously. A ton.
 
Maiden also sold 20,000 tickets in 12 minutes.
 
Maiden’s tour ends. At the time it had, but they’ve extended it.

“Since rehearsals started 131 days ago with 1 band and 102 crew, there have been 46 shows, 1,175,714 Maiden fans, 45,350 miles travelled, 44 cities in 25 different countries on 3 continents, 3,853 hotel rooms, 71,579 lbs of air freight, 2,576 stage hands, 350 lighting fixtures, 330 sets of guitar strings, 2,000 picks, 184 drums sticks, 600 rolls of gaffer, 400 rolls of over tape, 598 tanks of CO2 gas, 278 tanks of propane, 3,380 dinners, 96 cheese wheels, 5,646 bottles of Trooper beer, hundreds of miles walked by Hackers… and we have made it to the end of another tour.”

There’s a lot more here than is even being cited. Bruce Dickinson has always been a business man. He knows his product very well in all avenues he pursues. He knows what he has with Maiden and he has something on everyone else in the metal community that they don’t.
 
In ten years, he’ll be a permanent pewter fixture in Monopoly. If I’m dead wrong, I hope he can at least be an unlockable character in a heavy metal “Super Smash Bros.”

What I’d do to play as Bruce Dickinson against Geoff Tate.

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