In related news, I will definitely be making the January 2014 edition of the heavy metal cruise — mark my fucking words.
Carcass are playing, people. CARCASS!
The 70,000 Tons of Metal Cruise is going to be epic. The seafaring metal festival will boast 40 Heavy Metal bands and 2,000 fans from all over the world, and five days and four nights of Caribbean sun and bikini fun.
I’m fucking going, people. So if you are going, then we are going, and we will party, and I will bang your girlfriend and it’ll be awesome.
I’m kidding. I’d only have sex with your girlfriend if you insisted.
Also playing the cruise will be Death Angel, Dark Tranquility, D.R.I., Fear Factory, Finntroll, Kamelot, Leaves’ Eyes, Overkill, Septicflesh, Soilwork, Swallow The Sun, Symphony X, and Xandria.
Ticket prices start at $666 plus $319 taxes and fees per person and include all on-board entertainment, non-alcoholic and non-carbonated beverages, all meals at the dining rooms, most on-board restaurants and even 24 room service! I will be there.
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