Danzig Has Cats, Wears Danzig Shirts

Glenn Danzig

Yep. The headline pretty much says it all. A ton of people I know have been posting this on Facebook all fucking day, yucking it up because Glenn “Three-Foot-Ten” Danzig gets groceries. And has cats.

Because — I suppose — Glenn Danzig is not like you or I. He’s a music legend and — in all likelihood — a vampire who recently drank fairy blood. At the very least, you’d figure he has his groceries delivered, right? No. Danzig gets his own shit, bitches.

He’s also a cat owner. The box indicates he’s a multiple pet owner, as it’s Tidy Cat for multiple cats. Either that or he has one cat that takes tremendously stinky shits, and needs litter strong enough to eradicate the odor before it reaches his precious nose hairs.

OK. First of all, I saw this picture and smiled. Did I laugh? No. Because it’s not that funny. Glenn Danzig has cats and grocery shops. Big fucking deal, people. The reason I smiled? Dude’s obviously wearing a fucking Danzig shirt. Really?

Well, I mean…back in 2002, my old roommate Adam and I invested in anti-Red Sox shirts we tried to sell outside Yankees stadium. We tried that once, and a bunch of cops asked us if we had vendors permits. That ended that business venture. But I was wearing those shirts for years and still have some.

I bet you Danzig has a fucking big brown box of Danzig shirts that didn’t sell on some tour and he just wears those. He doesn’t do laundry, ever; he just throws those shirts away after a single use.

But again, is this really that funny? I’d say slightly amusing. But funny? What would be funny is if Glenn was walking around wearing a North Side Kings shirt. Or, if instead of cat food, he was lugging around a big old box of adult diapers.

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