Deadlock Roll Out New Lineup

I’d rape her

German metal act Deadlock have reconfigured their lineup a bit, following the departure of singer Johannes Prem.

“After having recently announced the departure of our singer Joe Prem, we’re now officially introducing the new line-up to you,” says the band in a statement.

“For the new guy behind the microphone we found a band-internal solution with John Gahlert, who raped the bass so far,” the statement says. A bass rapist? Poor fish…they probably don’t even know what’s happening to them.

“As you might know, he already helped out a couple of times, when Joe was not able to play and he proofed his vocal qualities very well,” says the band. They meant “proved,” but…let’s move on.

“The vacant position on the bass is taking over our long time friend Ferdinand Rewicki, who joined us on several tours as driver, merch guy or tour mananger. For us it was no question that Ferdinand is the perfect addition for Deadlock and on bass.”

Very good. The band have a bunch of shows planned for Europe.

Are there no laws in Germany to protect bass from rape? I think PETA needs to be alerted to this Gahlert fellow’s fish-fucking proclivities.

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