Eddie Van Halen Has Emergency Colon Surgery

Eddie Van Farten

You know, a wise man once told me “You’re only as clean as your colon.” I tend to agree.

Eddie Van Halen isn’t so clean. The Van Halen guitarist “underwent an emergency surgery for a severe bout of diverticulitis,” according to the band’s Web site.

“No further surgeries are needed and a full recovery is expected within four [to] six months,” the band says.

Diverticulitis, according to the webernets, occurs when small, bulging sacs or pouches of the inner lining of the intestine become inflamed or infected. Most often, these pouches are in the large intestine — or the colon.

Basically, Eddie’s been a farting, bloated, vomitus mess as of late. The symptoms, which can be very painful, include fever, chills, nausea, abdominal tenderness, bloody stool, and gas.
How pleasant.

“Van Halen’s scheduled November 2012 tour of Japan is currently being rescheduled and the band looks forward to seeing and playing for their fans in 2013,” the band’s site reads.

The band recently canceled the 31 North American tour dates it initially postponed in May.

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