Faith No More Is A Metal Band

The best band EVER…arguably

A few years ago, I took part in a roundtable discussion on the ten best metal bands ever with my good friend Rob Mancini, Jamey Jasta, Jen Guyre, and of course, Jem Aswad, who brought the pythons out for what was a lively discussion on metal. To me, the list would have been ten times better had Faith No More made it on there, but there was some discussion as to whether Faith No More were true metal or just an amazing progressive rock band. I declared, “Metal,” and the discussion began.

Faith No More are metal, and here’s why. Ask any band you admire what they think of Mike Patton, and they will more than likely tell you how they wish they could bone him. The dude is a God, and his vocal style has inspired some pretty heavy hitters, including Greg from Dillinger Escape Plan and Chino from the Deftones. Beyond having one of the greatest frontmen of all time, FNM had blazing guitars, bombastic drums, and just that thick, syrupy bass. Faith No More were what Black Sabbath would have been, had Ozzy and Tony been born during the 1960s.

Here’s how else FNM is metal: The proof is in who is attending today’s show. From various Twitter and Facebook updates I’ve been watching, everyone from the New York metal scene (aside for Ray Mazzola from Full Blown Chaos) is going. There’s even a pre-show thing going down in Brooklyn at 4 p.m. I’m about to head off into the shower and get my ass down there. FNM were perhaps one of the 1990s most influential bands, something we knew would be true back then and can now attest, ten years later, to be fact. Metal would sound a whole lot different today had it not been for them.

So, by now, you’ve probably figured out I love Faith No More. Today, I’m making the trek all the way to Williamsburg to see the band perform. Its the first concert ticket I’ve purchased in maybe four years. Last ticket I bought was to see Patton with John Zorn on New Year’s Eve. Before today, I’d seen the band twice: once at the Wetlands, where they covered Portishead’s “Glory Box” and sometime in the late 1990s with mu buddy Jay; Limp Bizkit opened for FNM at the Roseland, and were booed off the stage).

If I could sing like anyone, it’d be Patton. I plan on naming my first born, regardless of gender, Patton. Have since I was 15. And if you don’t think Faith No More are one of the boldest outfits to have ever grace the stage, you have no business being here. Patton, a man known for pooping in hotel blowdryers so future guests would receive a splendid surprise whilst attempting to exsiccate their manes, drank urine from a stiletto on stage once. Let’s hope today he doesn’t.


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