Father Of The Year Or Child Protective Services’ Most Wanted?

A wee one at FNM’s Brooklyn gig

So, I was at both Faith No More shows in Brooklyn over the weekend, and, pardon the pun, but it was EPIC! Sir Mike Patton was in rare form, and the band, back after a decade, sounded tight through stellar performances of “Midlife Crisis,” “Easy,” “Land of Sunshine,” “Surprise! You’re Dead!,” “Last Cup of Sorrow,” and Friday night’s closer, “We Care A Lot.”

The shows were my first at the Williamsburg Waterfront, which was surprisingly easy to get to and had the Manhattan skyline as it’s glorious backdrop. Patton noted several times during the show that the audience “should really turn around,” and stop looking “at our ugly asses.”

During Friday’s show, I got stuck for at least three songs standing behind a couple and their kid. He looked to be about 4, maybe 5. More like 4, though. He had blue eyes, and seemed to be only slightly interested in what I will say was absolutely one of the best concerts I have ever seen. But really, he looked like he’d rather be home watching “Yo Gabba Gabba.”

My first thought was, “How cool is that?” It reminded me of my dad, who influenced the type of music I listened to early on. But he never took me to a mega-loud concert. Next, I started thinking, “Well, jeepers…if I could go back and tell a 14-year-old Chris one bit of advice, beyond not calling that twat fart a ‘weasel,’ would be to always wear ear plugs, because my hearing is shot now.” So, was it a stupid move for this mom and dad to bring junior to the cock-flexer of a rock show? Or are they awesome? I’m conflicted.

They did leave before it got dark. Maybe that’s because the kid started falling asleep on his pop’s shoulder. He was probably second-hand stoned from all the reefer smoke that was filling the air tonight. What an incredible show! If you have tickets for Monday, you, my friend, are in for a fucking treat. Enjoy!

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