Five Finger Death Punch Recording New Songs

Four songs already wrapped for band’s next foray into aural abuse

Fine Fecal Bagel BrunchFine Fecal Bagel Brunch

Fine Fecal Bagel Brunch

The only thing perhaps more tragic than what today represents for New Yorkers like me is the fact that Five Finger Death Punch continues to succeed as a band, despite sucking hard.

Now comes word, on this most somber of days, that Five Finger Death Punch is in a studio somewhere, with four songs already recorded for their next album.

What a shame.

“We’re at the studio right now, and we’re recording some new material,” Five Finger Death Punch drummer Jeremy Spencer told Artisan News earlier this month while promoting his autobiography. “And after we finish the [fall North American co-headlining] tour with Volbeat, we’re gonna go back in and try to finish up everything in the winter and then get something out late spring [or] early summer.”

He continued:

“We’ve recorded four [songs so far]. I’m liking what I’m hearing, but there’s a long way to go, so there’s no… We haven’t, like, ‘Cool, these are four singles.’ It’s not… We’ll judge the body of work when it’s done.”

I hate the Five Fisting Donkeys Bunch. Truly. The fact that people have latched on to them like barnacles only validates my opinion that their music is bottom-feeder dreck that appeals to the lowest common denominator of malcontent.

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